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Saturday, 11 February 2017

Evidence that tiny things shouldn't be underestimated

I walked past a tree just now, coming home from town. The traffic was quiet, the road peaceful, and the houses Saturday-afternoon lethargic. But on the topmost branches of the tree perched a teeny-weeny bird singing a song so loud and bold and shrill that the tree winced and looked embarrassed, like someone who'd taken a garrulous, opinionated relative into a library and was regretting it.

I looked up, expecting to see the bird grasping a microphone and on its left and right, balancing precariously on the branches, a pair of mahoosive Panasonic loudspeakers.

My, my. What a voice for a bird so minuscule. Put it next to a large fly, and the fly would be taller. Had the bird lain down in the road and cried, 'Come on, local moggies - free meal!' I suspect the moggies would have taken one look, said, 'We've seen more meat in a vegan's pantry,' and moved on.

I'm not good on bird species, but I think this one was a lesser-spotted-town-crier-bird, or a an early-Tom-Jones or the rare megaphone-dressed-in-feathers bird.

Impressive.

What other things make an impact completely out of proportion to their size? I've had some ideas.

1. Babies.

Babies are born small for a good reason. Anyone who's ever given birth will be able to tell you that reason.

But, boy, do babies make a noise.

Here's a picture of a crying baby.

Cute!


Whoever drew that picture lied.

Here's a more realistic picture of a crying baby.

NO one's tonsils are cute.

When tiny babies cry, their whole bodies disappear behind their open mouths. In fact, mothers all over the world are wandering around, saying, 'I hear the noise, I see a black hole, but where is Baby?' Then they realise that if they approach the black hole, the child is there, just behind it. The words 'Mummy's here - would you like more milk even though you've already drunk fourteen pints this morning?' will restore the black hole/child balance within seconds.

I will list the rest of my ideas. You know where I'm going with this now.

2. Mosquitoes.

3. Broken wind after cabbage.

4. A tiny Lego brick on a carpet in the dark.

5. A kidney stone.

6. A shred of basil between your front teeth.

7. A little toe stubbed on a bedpost.

8. An eyelash hair in the eye.

9. A bit of egg yolk in the meringue mix.

10. A tiny crack where the handle joins the mug.

11. A needleful of anaesthetic.

12. One forgotten kipper at the back of the fridge.



Can you think of others, followers? Please tell me in the comments :)




Fran suggested it sing 'I believe I can fly ...' but it was offended and clamped its beak tight shut







23 comments:

  1. A supermarket trolley with a dodgy wheel? Ulcers? A thoughtful, reflective post 😀 Loved it.

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    Replies
    1. Yes! Both! I'd rather the trolley problem than the ulcer, though. You can always choose another trolley. Another mouth ... more of an issue.

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  2. A splinter under a fingernail?

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  3. Lynn McCann

    A paper cut...

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    Replies
    1. It's funny, isn't it, how one tiny paper cut can dominate your thoughts over everything else?

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  4. One tiny fingernail on a chalk board. I had already thought of babies when you started in on how adorably loud they are.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Another wince-inducing example. Just one tiny fingernail ... but perhaps with someone REALLY spiteful behind the finger ....

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  5. A teeny wee stone in the shoe. You think it's a boulder. And you shake it out and it's barely visible. Also sand in the bath.

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    Replies
    1. Yes! And the person you're with when you say, 'Stop. Stop. I have a big stone in my shoe' looks down with contempt when you shake out the tiny pebble!

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  6. thanks for the smiles Fran.......
    ..a strawberry seed under your dental plate.... I suffer this problem sometimes and I'm always surprised at the pain something so tiny gives me.. xxxxxxx .... Barb xxx

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    Replies
    1. Ouch. Ouch. I felt your pain there, Barb.

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  7. Those tiny, tiny, sharp edged snippets of freshly cut hair that always manage to lodge in the neck of your t-shirt no matter how tightly the cutting cape is attached to your neck.

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    1. I have to come home straight away and have a shower! I always feel so guilty as they style and dry my hair because I know that within 10 minutes of leaving there I'll be under the water washing it all away ...

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  8. A splinter (especially under your fingernail)!!

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  9. Kicking your little toe on the blanket box in the dark and doing the exact same thing the next night. They say you're fat if you can't see your feet well my feet have a loud voice when they hit the blanket box, I don't need to see them.

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    1. Ha ha - that made me laugh! I stubbed my little toe on the bedpost the other night, getting up in the dark, and, boy, did I know about it for a few days.

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  10. Again, my comment didn't make it. Yet I'm never rude or insulting.

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    1. I'm so sorry, River - for some reason, I have to go into 'waiting to be moderated' for your comments. And, no, you are always so nice and very kind to comment at all, considering the way my blog rejects you :( I wish I knew how to solve it. x

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  11. A tiny whisper to my daughter at the cinema. I have learnt to keep my questions until the end of the film.

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha - that made me laugh! I love your understatedness, if that's even a word .....

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