Reasons why Fran is now wary when opening the door to the pantry
So, this morning, our new vacuum cleaner arrived. My husband and I had decided that we'd been hauling a Henry up and down our precipitous Victorian wooden stairs for long enough and, until we've both made our wills, perhaps we should find another solution. 'Oh, I'm so sorry. How did she die?' 'She tripped over the hose of the vacuum cleaner and, what's more, she hadn't even done the downstairs rooms.' I'm not going to lie, it doesn't have the romanticism of 'She died of heartbreak' or 'She died rescuing someone from drowning' or even 'She fell into a crevasse while climbing in the Alps.' Anyway, we opened the box excitedly. 'I'll find the instructions,' I said. This picture shows the front page of the instruction booklet. It says, 'Please read carefully before using this product.' The only problem is, the rest of the booklet looks like this. (I think you know what's coming, don...