I went into the hairdressers. 'I've had it short for so long,' I said, 'so I've tried growing it longer this year, and it looks fine....'
'So?...' she began.
'... as long as I'm standing still and there's no breeze or anyone near me breathing heavily or using a hand dryer.'
'What happens then?'
'I look like a Gorgon.'
'Are you sure about this decision?' she said.
'Couldn't be more sure,' I said. 'Anyway, a friend told me longer hair made me look more mature. I felt like an ancient cheese. And that decided me. Also, I've been trying to blowdry it in the mornings, so that I look like the people in the magazines.'
'I was thinking 'Glamorous Hair' magazine, not 'Crufts Monthly.'
'It can't be that bad.'
'So why am I being chased down the road by Afghan hounds?'
She washed my hair and cut it. Chop, chop, chop. Snip. …