2 year old son: Can I have some of your chocwut cake?
Me: Only if you're careful not to get it everywhere. [This statement rates near the top of the list of Stupid Things Mothers Say.]
2 year old son: I pwomise.
Me: Okay, here you are.
Here, we will have a short break from the scene. You know those bits in films where two people get into bed and then, although you don't see any action, there is a wild storm outside, or a seascape where waves crash against the rocks which is meant to tell you EVERYTHING. Well, here, imagine not romance but disaster movie, so perhaps the sound of trees crashing to the ground in the wild storm, or a ship creaking and moaning as it breaks up and sinks.
Cafe. Five minutes later.
Me: Oh, just LOOK at you. You're COVERED in it. How did you do that? [This is…