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Showing posts from December, 2018

Reasons why Fran and Santa aren't speaking

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Dear Santa

Thanks so much for the streaming cold, tickly throat and stuffed-up head and for delivering them all early so that I get to enjoy them throughout the entire Christmas period. Your thoughtfulness is touching.

Fran



Dear Fran

I assure you that I did not deliver you the streaming cold, tickly throat and stuffed-up head. I bear you no ill-will, despite the caustic letter I received from you early this year about last Christmas's presents and how disappointed you were that I could not source the recipe books you wanted.

Santa


Dear Santa

I am sorry if I over-reacted. But I was looking forward to receiving my copies of 'One-Cal Cakes' and 'Eat Like a Piggy: Look Like a Supermodel'.

Fran


Dear Fran

I understand you are a Dickens fan. Have you read 'Great Expectations'? I have a spare copy I could deliver, if you wish.

Santa


Dear Santa

How would the world's children react if they knew you had such a sarcastic edge to your tongue? That's like finding…