I did my best to leave it as I'd found it.
Joke. I found that picture on the Internet.
We'd even got a little fond of the Monster Lamp, in a Stockholm Syndrome kind of way.
We came home at midday to a house full of plaster dust and littered with tools and a man in our hall who said, 'Oh dear. I thought you were coming home a bit later than this.' It was our landlord, come to do some repairs.
We've had a leak from our shower-over-the-bath for months, resulting in a collapse of the masonry underneath the bathroom and a hole in our hall's ceiling, just below the bath. 'Will the bath fall through the ceiling in that state?' I kept asking my…