1. Why did I ask the lady whose house I was in for a writers' meeting if she would 'kindly direct me to her facility' rather than just asking where the toilet was? Since when did I get so euphemistic about my bladder?
2. When a very old lady staggers onto the bus, shuffles down the aisle and plumps down next to you with an audible 'Phew' of relief, what's the best way of saying, 'Excuse me, please. Could you get up again and let me through? I need to get off at the next stop.'?
3. Why have I never realised how grim Grimm's Fairy Tales were? I'm reading them at the moment. Were these written for CHILDREN?
4. The first Pimms of the year, even if you don't have any lemon, any cucumber, or any ice to put into it, and even if the sun went in just as you were mixing the drink, is still a wondrous thing.
5. I get very, very excited about being on a new bus. The G1 is my regular bus, and sometimes I go on the X17.…