Being Me

I know you're probably bored, and sitting there thinking, 'I've finished reading Dostoevsky.  What next?  Oh, I wonder if Fran has ever written anything on soap dispensers.  I must go and look.' So here's a section from Chapter 9 of my book 'Being Miss' in which Miss has an adventure with a soap dispenser during a 'free period' when she doesn't have a class. In free periods, or ‘frees’ as they’re dubbed, all the school clocks speed up, their hands sweeping round with spite to the next bell.  It’s bizarre, because during lessons in which children are uncooperative, you’re hungry or you’re teaching possessive apostrophes, the clock hands stutter round like aged relatives.  Yes, time flies when you’re having frees. But, in those frees, while the clock hands speed up, everything else slows down.  Computers take longer to let you log in.  The ink in your red pen dries up so that you have to go foraging in the back of a dusty cupboard...

             This weekend, I thought I'd post an extract from my Amazon Kindle e-boo k 'Being Miss'.  Enjoy.  Apologies for the bogeys, but when you've got 11 year old boys as your main characters, some things are inevitable ....  It's half-way through the school day at a boys' school and 'Miss' is teaching 'Carrie's War' by Nina Bawden to year 7.  Or ... at least ... trying to.   Year 7 shuffle about, getting their things ready.  ‘Right,’ I say.  ‘Yesterday, we read Chapter 1, didn’t we, and you did some homework on it.  Today we’re going to carry on and read Chapter 2, but can anyone remember what I said would be different about Chapter 2?  Sebastian?’  I choose him because he’s picking his nose and sometimes it’s the only way to stop them.  ‘Can you remember?’             He pops the morsel into his mouth and then says, ...

I'm intrigued.  Someone who's bought my book on Amazon Kindle (is it one of you, dear friends?) has 'also viewed' a book called 'Panic Button - A Psychological Thriller'. I imagine, whoever you are, that you think my book about a teacher's day in a boys' independent school is going to be a cheery, light-hearted journey through the modern classroom, and that the other book would be a tense, thrilling, nail-biting, scary and stomach-turning read. Just wait until you get to my chapters about the vomiting boy, the boy who had a bogey the size of a cabbage on the end of his finger, and the Wine Gum stuck to the teacher's shoe during invigilation. In fact, I should probably have subtitled the book 'Being Miss - A Day in the Life of a Teacher who Could Have Done With a Panic Button'. Rupert was finding the book terrifying.  Finding that he was actually IN the book was even more so.  

Apparently, my e-book 'Being Miss' is number 35,159 in the Amazon Bestsellers Ranking. 'Are there people BELOW you?' says Younger Daughter. That's what you need from your family, isn't it?  Heart-warming compassion and support.

My e-book 'Being Miss' has a new cover.  My son put it together for me.  I think he's a very clever boy, and obviously destined for great things, especially as he's only just had his second birthday....... Kidding you.  He's nearly 26.  And just about to become a father ....  Which will make me Granny Franny, as my sister delights in telling me. Fran found that even getting dressed up and trying to make the most of herself didn't make her feel any younger

Just letting you know that, should you feel inclined, you can now read my first book called 'Being Miss' if you have a Kindle or something else you can download it to - and it seems to indicate that you can download it to your PC, too, if you don't.  It will cost you less than the price of 10 chocolate frogs.  It is about one day in a teacher's life precarious existence.  And it should make you laugh.  At least, that's the idea. Here's the link below ... Ooh, I must go and download that now And if you do download, and you like it, please write me a review on Amazon.  I'd give you a big virtual hug.