Reasons why I will never, ever, ever agree to be an external examiner again
Right, so that's three hundred and twenty exam scripts I have to mark by ... er ... ah ... I have two weeks. And, in a miracle of brilliant timing, it all coincides with my being back at work after sick leave. So, that was a REALLY GOOD DECISION of mine to apply to do exam marking, then. Thousand quid, or no thousand quid, somehow I wonder whether it's going to be worth it. Still, some chocolate should help. I know. I'll put this box of chocolates near my marking pile and every time I've done 20 scripts, I'll reward myself with one.
(Mark, mark, mark.)
Good, that's the first 20. Chocolate! Pop it in! Yum! Now, let's get going again.
(Mark, mark, mark.)
Sigh. This is going slowly. Only 10 done. Oh well, that's a round number. Have a chocolate. Pop it in! Yum! Now, come on, Fran. Don't start slacking.
(Mark, mark, mark.) Damn. Have I really only done three? This is really dragging. Oh well, three is a nice number - surely it means perfection in the Bible or something? - so I'll have another chocolate. Pop it in! Yum!
(Mark, mark, mark.) Another one done. And this is getting so tedious. Maybe I should go and check a few blogs out and ... NO! Come on! You have to get these done in a very short amount of time! I know. Why don't I have a chocolate after every script? That's bound to motivate me. Okay, pop it in! Yum!
(Mark, mark.) Look, there are two essays in each script. Maybe, to keep myself going, I should have a chocolate after each essay. Okay, I've done one essay. Pop it in! Yum!
(Mark.) Heavy sigh. My shoulders do ache. I need rewarding for all this hard work. Perhaps every time I write a comment in the margin, I could have a chocolate. Yes, that's a good idea. Okay, one comment written. Pop it in! Yum!
(Tick.) I am SO BORED and TIRED. Why did I apply to do this? What an idiot I am. And everyone else is out and about, enjoying life. I think I'll have a chocolate every time I put a tick on a script. I've done four in this essay. Okay, pop them in! Yum, yum, yum, yum.
(Ti ...) There's only one way I can keep this marking up, and that is to continually eat chocolate, and then in between each chocolate, I'll read another point in the essay.
(Chomp, chomp, tick, chomp, chomp, tick, chomp, chomp, tick.)