WHAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS BLOG

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Reasons why 'headless chicken' is a very good analogy at times

You know life is frantic when ....

1. Checking out other people's blogs and leaving inane comments seems like something you did on a school trip many years ago, or like an ancient country craft such as dry stone walling or making horseshoes.*

2. You don't have time to secure your zips and buttons up properly after a visit to the loo and find yourself doing up the fastenings while walking down busy corridors towards important visitors to your workplace.

3. You haven't caught up with the recent news and are thus humiliated when you say to someone, 'Isn't it terrible news about President Kennedy?'

4. The concept of 'meals' containing vitamins and minerals seems a distant memory, your diet now consisting as it does of chocolate chip chewy bars, tins of peaches and throat lozenges.

5. When you look in the mirror, your stressed shoulders are so near to your earlobes and your face bears such a greenish, no-sleep, no-nutrition tinge that you realise that Shrek is prettier than you.

6. You start to lose things.  Your keys are in the fruit bowl under three mouldy oranges.  Your diary is in the fridge.  Your electricity bill is in the dog.  Your husband is in .... is in ..... is .... You can't find your husband.

Now, I've found my keys .... but I SWEAR something else is missing .......




*Spot the apology.

24 comments:

  1. Brilliant, my little clucking chic-a-biddy! LOL

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  2. "your diet now consisting as it does of chocolate chip chewy bars..." - so every cloud has a silver lining then?

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  3. I love this. In my magnifying mirror, I realize Shrek is much prettier than me.

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  4. Not keeping up with the news? And I always had you down as a Rhode Island well Red.

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  5. Well, if you will apply for new and, I assume, important jobs...

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  6. 'Tins of peaches and throat lozenges' - what will they think of next?

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  7. I lose things daily. It's not fun.

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  8. Perfect. I recognise the lot. #5 is a speciality. And don't get me started on #6. You left one out though. Having to phone home to find out why you are standing in the middle of the Co-op at 9.45pm and what the heck you need to buy.

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  9. What's happened to President Kennedy?

    Anna :o]

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  10. Trust me, all these things happen when you're retired and supposedly free and easy!

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  11. Ah, to have time for country crafts of yore, like catching up with the blogging . . . so glad I did tonight. Very funny post from you, once again!

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  12. Just don't put your blog in the fridge.

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  13. Expand the diet a little tomorrow by stopping at the fish and chips shop!

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  14. Poor you! Sounds fowl...

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  15. Hahaha! Your pain is our comedic gain. Or something like that.

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  16. Sigh... Shrek is prettier than me. Maybe I should give up eating those tins of throat lozenges in syrup...

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  17. Never mind , no one will notice , they're doing the sleepwalk thing too . It's January and , by rights , we should be hibernating .
    But I would try to master the zip/button thing , if you can . First impressions and all that ....

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  18. I think it has definitely got something to do with January, but the advantage to that is it is still close enough to Christmas to have a selection box and mince pie diet!!

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  19. Apparently a week or so in an ashram would help. And you wouldn't have to worry about zips there, either.

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  20. Number 2 is me and what is worrying..... I don't even care !

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  21. Your husband has been eaten by the chicken.

    I hope things ease up for your soon, but I'm sorry to say that at least some of it is to do with that thing... you know... psst.. getting older.

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  22. Thanks for all these comments, people. My shoulders are edging their way back to their normal position very, very gradually, but Shrek still wins the beauty contest as yet.

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  23. I know the feeling. In addition to that I have seen in my youth ( far distant joy) my grandmother chop the head off of a chicken and then, unbelievably, the chicken got to its feet and ran the yard several times.
    I had named this chicken "Lucky" previously.

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  24. Count - Poor chicken, trying so desperately to live up to its name, and, presumably, failing.

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