Evidence that happiness spelled happyness, Paul McCartney and baby poo can appear in one post, though perhaps not seamlessly linked together
This is another of those posts where I have absolutely no idea what I'm about to write. I just know I ought to write one, and that's all the information I have. So, fingers to keyboard and here we go on an adventure together.....
Ironies. I love ironies. Here are a few that I have noticed lately.
1. I rented a film 2 weeks ago which stars Will Smith and is called 'The Pursuit of Happyness'. The pursuit lasted a lot longer than I'd intended because the DVD broke half-way through and I had to wait two weeks for a replacement. (By the way, there's a reason for the spelling of 'happyness'. It's not just because I'm on my summer holidays from being an English teacher.)
2. I moved to the Midlands from London 4 years ago, partly because of the hot, humid summers we were having. I'm not good in heat (as the cow said to the abattoir worker). But it had been raining and cool for weeks, so I decided it was safe to take a week-long holiday in London to see folks.
The day I got there, a big yellow ball appeared in the sky and burned me like a barbecued sausage for the whole of my stay. I got on the train to come back seven days later; the sun went in, it began to rain, and by the time I arrived back in the Midlands in my summer wear, everyone else was wearing parkas and Wellingtons again and I looked like I'd taken a wrong turn in Ibiza.
3. I just read a book about how amazing humans are for being able to use and interpret language. I didn't understand much of it.
Family values Did you watch the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games? I did, with my daughter (the Japanese Now-Ex-Student), but I'd only just got off the train from London and kept dozing off in front of the TV. I just couldn't keep my eyes open past about 11pm. Like a true daughter, she nudged me awake at key moments: [nudge] 'Hey! The Queen!', [nudge] 'Oy! Team GB coming in!',[nudge] 'Wake up! Cauldron!' and [nudge] 'Quick! They've dug up Paul McCartney and he's singing like he still has a mouthful of earth!' As soon as I'd watched the relevant bit, I closed my eyes again, secure in the knowledge that she wouldn't let me miss anything vital. She's a love, even if she does keep eating my chocolate bars.
Why it is useful that she has the nudging skill She is going to train as a cabin crew member for British Airways in September, working on the London to Japan routes. This 'nudge awake and give important information' technique is going to come in very handy.
Grandma-dom We have finally decided that I am going to be Grandma to 3-week old Elijah, not Granny or Nana or any of the other possibilities. And although it's not usual for Grandmas to be christened, he did actually initiate me into Grandma-dom last week when I visited by filling his nappy to the brim so that it overflowed onto my blue tee-shirt. Anyone who knows any tiny babies will know that their poo is more green than brown at this stage. I had to go and look in my suitcase to see if I had a clean one I could put on instead and I found this. I changed into it.
I think that's called 'preparedness'.
Ironies. I love ironies. Here are a few that I have noticed lately.
1. I rented a film 2 weeks ago which stars Will Smith and is called 'The Pursuit of Happyness'. The pursuit lasted a lot longer than I'd intended because the DVD broke half-way through and I had to wait two weeks for a replacement. (By the way, there's a reason for the spelling of 'happyness'. It's not just because I'm on my summer holidays from being an English teacher.)
2. I moved to the Midlands from London 4 years ago, partly because of the hot, humid summers we were having. I'm not good in heat (as the cow said to the abattoir worker). But it had been raining and cool for weeks, so I decided it was safe to take a week-long holiday in London to see folks.
The day I got there, a big yellow ball appeared in the sky and burned me like a barbecued sausage for the whole of my stay. I got on the train to come back seven days later; the sun went in, it began to rain, and by the time I arrived back in the Midlands in my summer wear, everyone else was wearing parkas and Wellingtons again and I looked like I'd taken a wrong turn in Ibiza.
3. I just read a book about how amazing humans are for being able to use and interpret language. I didn't understand much of it.
Family values Did you watch the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games? I did, with my daughter (the Japanese Now-Ex-Student), but I'd only just got off the train from London and kept dozing off in front of the TV. I just couldn't keep my eyes open past about 11pm. Like a true daughter, she nudged me awake at key moments: [nudge] 'Hey! The Queen!', [nudge] 'Oy! Team GB coming in!',[nudge] 'Wake up! Cauldron!' and [nudge] 'Quick! They've dug up Paul McCartney and he's singing like he still has a mouthful of earth!' As soon as I'd watched the relevant bit, I closed my eyes again, secure in the knowledge that she wouldn't let me miss anything vital. She's a love, even if she does keep eating my chocolate bars.
Why it is useful that she has the nudging skill She is going to train as a cabin crew member for British Airways in September, working on the London to Japan routes. This 'nudge awake and give important information' technique is going to come in very handy.
Grandma-dom We have finally decided that I am going to be Grandma to 3-week old Elijah, not Granny or Nana or any of the other possibilities. And although it's not usual for Grandmas to be christened, he did actually initiate me into Grandma-dom last week when I visited by filling his nappy to the brim so that it overflowed onto my blue tee-shirt. Anyone who knows any tiny babies will know that their poo is more green than brown at this stage. I had to go and look in my suitcase to see if I had a clean one I could put on instead and I found this. I changed into it.
I think that's called 'preparedness'.
Thankyou .
ReplyDeleteNow I've got Ken Dodd in my head "...... , ...... the greatest gift that I possess " .
Why is Elijah herbiverous ? Don't they usually wait a while before mixed feeding , progressing to baby rice and Biccypegs before overdosing on spinach ?
I remember Biccypegs! Our kids used to have them on a ribbon. I don't know if they still do them.
DeleteYeah, why don't you feed that baby a steak? Tee hee. How well I remember green and yellow baby poop. I once made the stupid mistake of eating caramel corn when I was breast feeding. Poor little baby had caramel diarrhea for days. So they dug up McCartney for the opening ceremony? I wondered why his voice sounded so strange.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Those were the days, of having to watch what we ate because of breastfeeding. Now I have thrown caution to the winds, with predictable results.
DeleteI stole your digging up McCartney joke for my expert analysis of the opening ceremonies, but I gave you credit for it, including the address of your blog. You are so funny I may start stealing from you more often. Right now, baby poop posts are swirling in my brain . . . oh, no, wait . . . that's swirling in the toilet. My bad.
DeleteYou're welcome. Said McCartney's band member after he'd asked him to hold his shroud while he sang.
DeleteI'm really enjoying the Olympics. I wish I had planned ahead to be there. There is nothing better than being a grandma. I wish we had more little ones, but I am perfectly content with our two little girls.
ReplyDeleteI like the Grandma feeling more than I thought I would, especially as I didn't acquire little round glasses and a pair of knitting needles overnight, as I'd feared.
Delete"They've dug up Paul McCartney and he's singing like he still has a mouthful of earth..." ha ha! He did have a look of fresh cadaver about him, I must admit...
ReplyDeleteI think 'fresh' is pushing it.
DeleteI love the Paul McC references! I wish that the organisers of big " dos" would stop asking him. At least he didn't look quite so much like Ken Dodd this time, and I have always disliked that " Jude" song, especially the long , boring, and irritating ending ! I too ended up as" Grandma", having scoured the WWW for an alternative.......no one liked any of my other suggestions! E is now 2 and it is so lovely now that we can have conversations.
ReplyDeleteI agreed with my daughter that the na-na-na-na-na-na-na bit in 'Hey Jude' was at least singable by all the nations of the world who were watching.
DeleteI think that shirt is too bright a green, unless Elijah has been living on frozen peas. I remember a different green but what would I know, I only clean cat litter trays these days. My grandsons gave up nappies before they started school.
ReplyDeleteI did rush for the knitting needles at first hint of a grandchild but Im a slow knitter and they grew too fast. And why would a new baby need a thick knitted sleeping bag if he was born in the middle of a hot Australian summer?
Congratulations on becoming a grandma. Grandma is my favourite word.
I did try knitting once and I was fine while all was going well. As soon as I dropped a stitch, I was lost and could never find my way back.
DeleteAhh, that sunny feeling. Don't blame you for moving, I'm glad we now live in cool-breeze distance of the coast, had a few years "inland" at the time of the "Great Hot Summers"! Green Poo... the time when your first-born convinces you it really is an Alien! The olympics, I'm currently in a love-hate thing, love the excitement, saw the torch, watching many different sports, hate the organisers for ticket prices and empty seats!
ReplyDeleteI love that someone has created a Twitter profile for 'The Empty Seat' and has posted it round Twitter with the message 'I'm so lonely'. I re-tweeted it, but I wish I'd thought of it.
Deletemy mum told me she'd read that Paul Mc will be in the closing ceremony too - groan ( retire gracefully Paul. Let the grey hair rock ! )
ReplyDeleteWe all have ridiculous sunglasses marks even after slapping on sun cream !
you have it spot on with Paul Mc. I am grandma too. It rocks.
ReplyDeleteQuite a few of us at home reacted as we'd just been sprayed in green poo when Macca started, ahem, singing. It would have been kinder of your daughter to allow you to snooze through that experience!
ReplyDelete