Evidence that no nursery rhyme is safe in Fran's hands
Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall
But he was the size of Nepal.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Said, 'We'll help him this time, but NEVER again.'
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
But Jill went 'Ohhhhhhhh!' and tore off her clothes
And (surprise!) gave birth to their daughter.
'Mary, Mary, quite contrary -
How does your garden grow?'
asked someone who was passing
who really wanted to know.
But Mary Mary quite contrary,
The question annoyed her so
She battered him with her spade.
Now he's the compost that helps it grow.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick.
Jack be singed in a delicate place.
Jack be red all over his face.
Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
and doesn't know where to find 'em.
Check in the butcher's window, Bo.
Your lambsies are just behind him.
He's going to bash their little heads
And then he's going to use 'em
To make some steaks and sausage.
That'll teach you not to lose 'em.
Oh the grand old Duke of York.
He had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.
They were most dischuffed, the men,
To be marched back down again,
So decided to nuke the silly old Duke
For over-working them.
|The cover for Fran's new book of nursery rhymes was going to look a little different from this one|