Friday, 19 September 2014
Evidence that senior moments can even happen to junior people
I have so many senior moments these days. In fact, I think I am in one long Senior Moment and every now and then I have a Junior one: a minute or two of lucidity when I rush around and get as much done as possible.
But some moments of disorientation happen to everyone - young and old - when it takes a while for things to become clear. Do you have experiences like these?..........
1. Someone asks if you'd like a cup of tea and then they make you coffee instead. That first sip .....
2. You put someone else's glasses on by mistake and wonder when and how you wandered into the Hall of Mirrors.
3. You begin to undo your trousers, thinking you have a pair on with one button, and can't get them over your hips. You've put on three stone in one day? Then you find they're a three-button pair.
4. Your taxi arrives to take you to the station, so you run outside and hail it, dragging your case. So does your neighbour opposite.
5. You wake up on Saturday with a sinking feeling because you think it's Friday, and then realise, and then can't get back to sleep because of the joy.
6. You pick up the phone at home and say, 'Smithson & Co. How can I help you?'
7. You pick up the phone at work and say, 'Hiyaaaaaaaaa!'
8. You bite into something very hard, such as pork crackling or nut brittle, and for a few seconds, you fear you are trying to eat a bit of your own tooth.
9. You wake in the night and hear high-pitched wailing from outside. You can't get to sleep because of the 'Is it a cat? Is it a baby? Is it a cat? Is it a baby? Is it a cat? Is it a baby?' thought-pattern. When you realise it's a baby, you can't get to sleep because of the 'How can a baby sound so like a cat?' thought-pattern. When you realise it's a cat, you can't get to sleep because of the 'How can a cat sound so like a baby?' thought-pattern. Then you go back to sleep and two minutes later the alarm rings.
10. Finally, my own definition of A Moment of Real Fear. You press 'Forward' at exactly the same time as you realise you're not sure who you had written in the address box.