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Friday, 19 September 2014

Evidence that senior moments can even happen to junior people

I have so many senior moments these days.  In fact, I think I am in one long Senior Moment and every now and then I have a Junior one: a minute or two of lucidity when I rush around and get as much done as possible.  

But some moments of disorientation happen to everyone - young and old - when it takes a while for things to become clear.  Do you have experiences like these?..........

1. Someone asks if you'd like a cup of tea and then they make you coffee instead.  That first sip .....

2. You put someone else's glasses on by mistake and wonder when and how you wandered into the Hall of Mirrors.

3. You begin to undo your trousers, thinking you have a pair on with one button, and can't get them over your hips.  You've put on three stone in one day?  Then you find they're a three-button pair.

4. Your taxi arrives to take you to the station, so you run outside and hail it, dragging your case.  So does your neighbour opposite.  

5. You wake up on Saturday with a sinking feeling because you think it's Friday, and then realise, and then can't get back to sleep because of the joy.

6. You pick up the phone at home and say, 'Smithson & Co.  How can I help you?'




7. You pick up the phone at work and say, 'Hiyaaaaaaaaa!'

8. You bite into something very hard, such as pork crackling or nut brittle, and for a few seconds, you fear you are trying to eat a bit of your own tooth.

9. You wake in the night and hear high-pitched wailing from outside.  You can't get to sleep because of the 'Is it a cat? Is it a baby? Is it a cat? Is it a baby? Is it a cat? Is it a baby?' thought-pattern.  When you realise it's a baby, you can't get to sleep because of the 'How can a baby sound so like a cat?' thought-pattern.  When you realise it's a cat, you can't get to sleep because of the 'How can a cat sound so like a baby?' thought-pattern.  Then you go back to sleep and two minutes later the alarm rings.

10. Finally, my own definition of A Moment of Real Fear.  You press 'Forward' at exactly the same time as you realise you're not sure who you had written in the address box. 
  

14 comments:

  1. Funny. I'm getting tired of walking into the shower and wondering what seems different when the water hits my glasses.

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    1. Yes! Wondering what seems different ... that puts it very well. And then there's the opposite problem - getting into the shower without your glasses and then trying to wash your hair in body lotion because you can't see the labels.

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    2. I've solved that confusion. Shampoo always on the right, conditioner always on the left, soap in the rack underneath. Body lotion is kept in the cupboard under the basin and also always in the same spot.

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    3. You should be running courses in this, River. You seem to have it all ship-shape. I will remember your tips ...

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  2. I was beginning to think my entire life had become one long senior moment, then I woke this morning feeling fresh and new (young), so took advantage and cleaned the whole flat, including a load of washing, by 10am.

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    1. That's what I call a Junior Moment! I bet you really enjoyed the rest of your day!

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  3. I have turned into a Thesaurus to try to get the word I want !

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    1. That is a very wise clever sagacious enlightened plan.

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  4. I recently mentioned that I'd be taking a particular book to the charity shop, as soon as I'd washed it. And no, it wasn't at all dirty.

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    1. That made me smile. At school, a couple of weeks ago I talked for a whole lesson about the lion in The Life of Pi. I still can't believe I did that.

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    2. hahahahahahaha cackle cackle cackle Can't help it. It's something I'd do.

      Love,
      Janie

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    3. They will remember that lesson over all the others, I'm guessing. Like last year's lot, who said the most memorable lesson was the one in which, on hearing the local rag and bone man calling near the school, they said, 'Who's that?' I said, 'It's the man who collects all the junk from people's houses. Damn, I forgot to put my husband out.' They didn't remember much at all about the Sheridan play or the Hardy poetry.

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  5. As a child , I was always being told to " be your age " .
    So now I am , Senior Moments and all .

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    1. That's a very good maxim to follow!

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