Reasons why I should stay in
'Yes,' I said. 'Nufney wedder.'
I don't know why I couldn't pronounce 'Lovely weather' so that he would understand. It just didn't come out right. So, he looked at me askance as if thinking, 'If I'd known she was Dutch, I wouldn't have started a conversation.'
As I walked the rest of the way home, I remembered other 'encounters in the street' that have left me red-faced.
1. Once I walked past a lady who still had her umbrella up even though it had stopped raining five minutes before. 'You know it's stopped, don't you?' I said. I thought she hadn't noticed and that I was being helpful. She snarled at me as if to say, 'I can judge that for mySELF, thank you,' and carried on down the road, with her umbrella still firmly up, like Noah, despite everyone else's scorn.
2. Then there was the day I click-clacked in my work shoes past some men digging up the road. One looked up and gazed as I walked by them - I was indeed surprised as I'm no Sophia Loren - and as I made my way down the street, I heard the other one say, 'You didn't get any last night, did you, mate?' I'm guessing he didn't mean fish and chips. I still blush when I remember that. Cruel, or what? If I'd had my wits about me, I'd have yelled, 'No, but I did, and I think Johnny Depp was perfectly satisfied.' But I didn't. I was too busy clacking down the street as fast as I could, away from humiliation.
3. Some tourists stopped their car once - a distinctive silver car - while I was walking and asked the way to a local visitor attraction. I pointed them in the direction I thought right. As soon as they'd driven off, their faces shiny with grateful smiles, I realised I'd sent them the wrong way. I could do nothing about it, so I kept walking. Then, in the distance, I saw their silver car coming back. I squeezed behind someone's hedge, privet tickling my nose and ears, until they'd gone past. That was a couple of years back, but if you see a silver car with some puzzled East Asians in it, tell them I'm sorry, and that Hampton Court is still very nice if they fancy trying again.
Have a lovely weekend. Unfortunately, the wedder's not been very nufney today, but Sunday should be better.