Reasons why Fran's future career as a supermodel may suffer further delay
My husband bought me one of these for my birthday last April. Beware. This is the most dangerous piece of kitchen equipment known to man. I've written a poem about it. Addiction I fear I am addicted to a substance - may need a doctor for some quick advice. This substance is so tempting, I can't help it. One portion of it just will not suffice. The minute I indulge I sense euphoria. I want to tell the world, to raise my voice, and yell, 'I so love cheese and onion toasties. I admit it. Toasties are my drug of choice.' The instant I think, 'Cheese and onion toastie!' My mind begins to tease and play some tricks. Whatever I am doing, I must drop it and get into that kitchen for a fix. I'm grating cheese so fast, I grate my fingers but nothing stops me once I'm in the zone. I'm chopping onion like there's no tomorrow ignoring email, Twitter, Facebook, phone. I'm lathering the butter on the slices as though I'm...