Reasons why Fran's future career as a supermodel may suffer further delay

My husband bought me one of these for my birthday last April.

Beware. This is the most dangerous piece of kitchen equipment known to man. 

I've written a poem about it.



Addiction

I fear I am addicted to a substance -
may need a doctor for some quick advice.
This substance is so tempting, I can't help it.
One portion of it just will not suffice.
The minute I indulge I sense euphoria.
I want to tell the world, to raise my voice,
and yell, 'I so love cheese and onion toasties.
I admit it. Toasties are my drug of choice.'

The instant I think, 'Cheese and onion toastie!'
My mind begins to tease and play some tricks.
Whatever I am doing, I must drop it
and get into that kitchen for a fix.
I'm grating cheese so fast, I grate my fingers
but nothing stops me once I'm in the zone.
I'm chopping onion like there's no tomorrow
ignoring email, Twitter, Facebook, phone.

I'm lathering the butter on the slices
as though I'm trying to suffocate the bread.
My heart is going boom-boom-boom, excited,
anticipating toastie bliss ahead.
I'm chanting, 'Toastie! Toastie! You're my saviour.
One bite, one bite, and all my woes are gone.'

Then, just as I near faint with joy, I realise
I haven't turned the toastie maker on.










Comments

  1. Um...a moment on the lips...I'm sure you know the rest lol. Cute poem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, I know the rest. All too well :(

      Delete
  2. Ha ha ha ha! Brilliantly put Fran. Must be a serious addiction though if you're ignoring Facebook! ;) x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. Cheese on its own? Boring. Cheese and onion. DIVINE.

      Delete
    2. Not boring if you put a slice of ham in with the cheese , though .

      Delete
  4. Fab! I can just picture this, you describe it so well. Bon appetit mon brave! X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I take that as permission to carry on ;)

      Delete
  5. I'll pray for you and all other toastie addicts.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cheese and onion? No. Just no.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But ... but ... but, why not?

      Delete
    2. 1. yuck 2. onions give me an upset tummy, but even if they didn't it would still be yuck

      Delete
    3. Ah well, that's different, if they don't agree with you. Another favourite combination at the moment is tinned fish (say, mackerel or sardines) with cheese. So tasty.

      Delete
    4. I fear I cannot tempt you. I will make no more suggestions!!

      Delete
  7. I've had to give up toasties :( For some reason they don't digest anymore, just sit there like a lump of lead in my stomach.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I pray that day never arrives for me :(

      Delete
    2. It's probably part of my dairy intolerance and if I wait a few years I may be able to eat a toastie occasionally again.

      Delete
  8. I've never heard of toasties. Are they just grilled sandwiches?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In a way, I suppose, they are, but you put butter on the outside of the bread so that it goes all crispy and then whatever you have inside melts and goes all yummy and then you bite into it and ...... er .... I'm getting carried away here. It doesn't take much.

      Delete
  9. My choice would be cheese and tomato, I could eat one right now as you have raised the subject !
    We did have a toastie machine but I got fed up cleaning it so just make cheese on toast under the grill now but it's not the same... I want a toastie !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I like about this panini griddle thing I've got, It's so easy to clean. Christmas present idea?????

      Delete
    2. Umm, I think I might eat one or ten too many !
      For Christmas, I have bought husband a fancy coffee machine which he admired on holiday.
      If he doesn't use it I shall scream or console myself in a toastie xx

      Delete
  10. Our local garden center's cafe is now offering the ultimate toastie experience . A panini filled with smoked bacon , cheese , raisins and sauerkraut , then grilled .
    Wonder how many they've sold ? And to whom ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, I think I'd try that. Maybe only once, but I'd try.

      Delete
  11. Oh dear, you've all got it wrong. Cheese, just cheese. No adulteration. Tut tut.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran feels self-conscious today (more than usual ..)

Evidence that Fran has started the year a domestic goddess

Reasons why teachers might look forward to weekends and holidays ...