Evidence that you are middle-aged

1. Your earworm is the tune from the Hovis advert.

2. When you yawn, the skin on your face takes an hour to regroup. 

3. You know how to write a letter. 

4. When you bend to tie a shoelace, you clean a skirting board while you're there.

5. You'd be upset if a Christmas hamper didn't contain tinned ham and brandy snaps. 

6. Your diary is made from paper. 

7. You take someone under 30 with you to buy a mobile phone. 

8. You have curry powder on your nose after reading its ingredients.

9. Your pyjama bottoms are not shorts.

10. Telephones in your dreams have dials. 




11. You have fourteen spectacles cases in the house.

12. When you spot yourself in a shop window, you think you're being followed.

13. You still think shit is a swearword. 

14. You remember curries with sultanas in them. 

15. You pile things on the bottom stair 'ready to go up' because you're not. 

16. You still call it 'the world wide web'. 

17. Your definition of high heels has changed dramatically. 

18. All your cups of tea are described as 'nice'. 

19. You have watched the first 45 minutes of a hundred films. 

20. Every object is a thingy. 



 





Comments

  1. Karen15/10/21 12:12

    Brilliant! So accurate...!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill15/10/21 12:38

      If you know, you know! Thanks for reading and commenting, Karen!

      Delete
  2. Ruth Leigh15/10/21 12:46

    I am officially middle aged! Sultanas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/10/21 14:20

      And pineapple on pizzas - does that happen any more?

      Delete
  3. Diana Studer15/10/21 13:21

    Works for me, except I've never heard the Hovis music. My mother used to miss Hovis loaves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/10/21 14:21

      I think it was an ad in the 1970s, the Hovis one. Along with many others whose theme tunes I still find myself humming. Flake. Kit Kat. Mars Bar. And, before anyone accuses me of only remembering food adverts, there's the Fairy Liquid one too.

      Delete
    2. Liz Manning17/10/21 09:37

      Dvorak's New World Symphony, wasn't it for Hovis? Also, if you're of a certain era, you also can't hear O Sole Mio without without singing about ice cream or The Nutcracker without thinking about a chocolate bar!

      Delete
    3. Fran Hill17/10/21 15:00

      So true, Liz! Shows how subliminal advertising really is, that we still have those tunes in our heads and the (new) words to them!

      Delete
  4. River15/10/21 21:31

    I can say yes to #3 and #9, does that make me a young middle-ager? At 69?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/10/21 14:22

      You are clearly going to live until you are 145, River.

      Delete
  5. Deborah Jenkins17/10/21 09:09

    Haha! Yes to all of them. '... you think you're being followed.' 😆😆Just brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill17/10/21 15:01

      I'm glad you got that one! I wondered if it was clear! Thanks for reading x

      Delete
  6. SC Skillman17/10/21 09:44

    I love this. The one about the skirting board was the 1st one that made me laugh and from then on it was hilarious! Re. The skirting boards, don't ever do online Pilates because it's a nightmare for noticing the horror of the skirting boards ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill17/10/21 15:02

      Thanks so much, SC! And I can imagine what you mean about doing the Pilates. If I ever try it, I might take my glasses off.

      Delete
  7. Veronica Zundel17/10/21 14:43

    Love it! But you forgot 'The teachers are getting younger and younger'...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill17/10/21 15:05

      Indeed. As are all nurses, police officers, firefighters ....

      Delete

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