Evidence that my readers have eclectic tastes

I'm intrigued.  Someone who's bought my book on Amazon Kindle (is it one of you, dear friends?) has 'also viewed' a book called 'Panic Button - A Psychological Thriller'.

I imagine, whoever you are, that you think my book about a teacher's day in a boys' independent school is going to be a cheery, light-hearted journey through the modern classroom, and that the other book would be a tense, thrilling, nail-biting, scary and stomach-turning read.

Just wait until you get to my chapters about the vomiting boy, the boy who had a bogey the size of a cabbage on the end of his finger, and the Wine Gum stuck to the teacher's shoe during invigilation.

In fact, I should probably have subtitled the book 'Being Miss - A Day in the Life of a Teacher who Could Have Done With a Panic Button'.

Rupert was finding the book terrifying.  Finding that he was actually IN the book was even more so.  

Comments

  1. Steve15/7/12 14:24

    A panic button? Or a panic room? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/7/12 10:20

      Panic room is a very good idea. As long as it has a kettle and a tin of biscuits, ANY kind of room ..

      Delete
  2. broken biro15/7/12 14:37

    Did they also look at '50 Shades of Panic'?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/7/12 10:20

      Ha ha! I like the thing on Twitter at the moment about '50 Sheds of Grey'. The book deserves to be sent up, from what I hear.

      Delete
  3. Janie Junebug15/7/12 16:46

    All teachers should have a panic room. In the panic room, the teacher would be able to see the class, but the class would not be able to see the teacher. The teacher would have robotic arms she could operate in order to give a resounding smack on the butt to badly behaved students -- that means almost all of them.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/7/12 10:21

      I do believe our current government would be open to your ideas.

      Delete
  4. stephen Hayes15/7/12 19:58

    I wish I would of had a panick room when I was a teacher.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/7/12 10:22

      You were a teacher? What did you teach, Stephen?

      Delete
    2. Janie Junebug16/7/12 18:08

      I sure hope it wasn't English. tee hee

      Delete
  5. Martin16/7/12 00:21

    The wine gum episode was my favourite. Not many books make me laugh out loud, these days. Mind you, I had been reading some Jo Nesbo beforehand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/7/12 10:23

      Had to look up Jo Nesbo. Now I know what you mean! The wine gum episode was one of the rare parts of the book that actually happened more or less like that in real life ...

      Delete
  6. SmitoniusAndSonata16/7/12 09:58

    Big Boys' School , if it's anything like my Big Girls' school was , must have been full of stomach turning , nail biting moments . But mostly they were for the pupils .
    The nuns neither had nor needed a panic button , they just cancelled Saturday evening Folk Dancing ( half-hour with Madame Alexander on the piano and Sir Roger de Coverley ) and , instead , a young novice would lead us through a couple of choruses of Frère Jaques and Mme Alexander would join the other nuns in Chamomile tea .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill16/7/12 10:24

      It sounds very elegant and civilised. We did 'country dancing' with Miss Smith, only we didn't, if you get my drift.

      Delete
  7. BadPenny18/7/12 09:17

    An English teacher at our school didn't need a panic room or button- he either took his false eye out to look at us or threw heavy books in our general direction !

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fran Hill18/7/12 11:06

    The false eye thing is just brilliance. Sheer brilliance. I may well call their bluff the next time they play up ... How would they know I wasn't telling the truth?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Image
My try-to-get-fitter walk in the fields today was a silent one. I usually listen to the radio through earphones but have lost one of the soft earbuds and nothing spoils a walk more than having hard plastic nudging up against your fragile tympanic membrane. The BBC's  'Woman's Hour' is a brilliant programme but loyalty has limits.  It was disconcerting, walking in silence. Listening to radio distracts from the disturbing reality that my legs are propelling me in forward motion because, if I think too hard about this, I frighten myself.  Today, while walking, I had to listen to my own thoughts.  And now I've listened to my own thoughts, I remember why I like radio better. The inside of my head is like a wastepaper basket.   Be grateful that I only offer you a brief excerpt.  Oh, look, that bird is - / Where did I put that mark scheme. I'll need it for - / My shoes are getting muddier./ Maybe mash with the fish tonight / really muddy / The trees are defin...
Read more

More evidence that the wrong consonant makes all the difference to a famous book title

Image
More typo-lit, one of my favourite genres: To Kilt a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a young family move into the area from Aberdeen.  The children are found dressing the local wildlife in tartan and have to be taught that clothing innocent victims in bright material is not acceptable.  The little girl (Scot) says, 'Shoot, Pa, that's the darndest thing I ever did hear!' and there is surprise all round at her adoption of the local dialect in such a short time. To Kiln a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father teaches his children that to put an innocent bird into a red-hot oven, converting it into an attractive china piece for the kitchen, was bound to upset Aunt Alexandra when given as a birthday present, and if this was indeed their intention, they deserved a whipping.   They don't get the whipping; the father can't stand Aunt Alexandra either. To Bill a Mockingbird - a tale set ...
Read more

Reasons why Fran can get a 90,000 word novel down to a haiku if she's paid enough

Image
My first published story was in ‘Your Cat’ magazine.  (Don’t laugh … we all have to start somewhere.)  I sent the editor a 1500-word story.  She said she liked it (great!) and would publish it (fantastic!) but that I should cut it by a third and tighten up my style.  Ah.  Not so good. I loved every word of that story.  I gave birth to each one in pain and suffering, so there was NO WAY, absolutely NO WAY I was going to cut or change them.  I was determined.  I would stick to my guns.  She could forget it.  My mind was made up. Then she said she’d pay me £200 if I did the alterations.  I wavered for a whole nano-second.  U-turn Queen, that’s me, when it comes to hard cash. The editing of that heart-warming story about a couple who rediscover their love when their cat has a crisis (it was a real sick-bucket saga) taught me loads.  I hated making the changes.  I felt like a murderer, slashing and s...
Read more