Why I can't mention the restaurant called 'Ask'
So now I have to call my road Gramaundington Avenue.
It's all because, one day, staying at her flat, I asked her where she'd like me to put the washing. "Shall I put it in the washing barsket?" I asked. She could barely reply, doubled up as she was. I waited patiently for a coherent reply, but it never came.
Later that day, I was studying some Shakespeare, and found that an Early Modern English word for 'basket' was 'maund'. An instant solution! I suggested to her that we call the basket/barsket a maund instead. The next logical step (logic has many forms; don't judge us too harshly) was to call every single word or part of word that we disagreed on a 'maund'.
So, now, a sentence such as 'shall we go up the town on the bus for a cup of tea and a currant bun?' becomes 'shall we go maund the town on the maund for a maund of tea and a maundant maund?' And, therefore, Grassington Avenue gets the same treatment.
It's all my maund, of course (forlt/folt) for moving South and what has come to maund (pars/pass) in terms of her maunding (larfing/laffing) at me was surely to be expected. I have to say, I was hoping for more compassion from a close blood relative while I adjusted to life in the Midlands, but it seems that's too much to maund.