Expert advice on how to do birthdays

Sent Son a birthday parcel, addressed in my traditional way, with 'Birthday Boy' in between his first and second name on the envelope. But he was out when they delivered the parcel, and the postman left one of those little notes on which he's written, 'There is a parcel waiting for Birthday Boy Hill. Please will Birthday Boy come and collect it from the post office.'

Now Son, who's 23, has to go and claim it.

Says he's going to turn the collar up on his coat and wear a big hat.

I hope he likes the present, once he's got over the embarrassment of collecting it. He also has to get over the fact that it's enclosed in bubble wrap and brown paper, not bright and sparkly birthday wrap. I asked Husband if he'd wrap it up ready to send, and Husband forgot that, usually, there's a surprise element and a celebratory element about birthday presents which most people would feel called for an attractive covering and a gift tag.

Still, it will pay Birthday Boy back for all the years he's given us scraps of A4 paper out of his school/college notebooks saying 'IOU a present' because he's forgotten all our important dates until reminded by the fact that the house is festooned with balloons and cards and someone is cutting a cake.

Actually, I tell a lie. I'm doing him an injustice. One year he gave me one of his toffees. It was treacle toffee, I think. The flavour he doesn't like.

Comments

  1. Lesley11/3/09 17:09

    Oh that's funny! My son would not claim the present if he had to admit to being Birthday Boy. I used to write "Jimbo" on his lunch bag when he was small (his name is Jim) and by the time he was 7 he made me throw out the bag and get a new, unmarked one before he would head off for school.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fran Hill12/3/09 15:42

    I used to have to write 'If you find this boy wandering around looking lost, please ring this number ....' on my son's bag. I stopped doing that eventually. I think he was ... er ... 22 at the time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. gaf8513/3/09 18:54

    I swear I spend half my time in line at the post office mailing various things out to my two daughters who no longer live at home. For Valentines Day I sent each of them a care pkg. with homemade cookies and fudge. One year I "forgot" to send out Easter items and I heard about it. I guess they never get too old to enjoy a little thoughtful gift from Mom at home.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fran Hill14/3/09 03:33

    Gaf, you sound like a much nicer mother than I am. I will send you the addresses of all my children.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Image
My try-to-get-fitter walk in the fields today was a silent one. I usually listen to the radio through earphones but have lost one of the soft earbuds and nothing spoils a walk more than having hard plastic nudging up against your fragile tympanic membrane. The BBC's  'Woman's Hour' is a brilliant programme but loyalty has limits.  It was disconcerting, walking in silence. Listening to radio distracts from the disturbing reality that my legs are propelling me in forward motion because, if I think too hard about this, I frighten myself.  Today, while walking, I had to listen to my own thoughts.  And now I've listened to my own thoughts, I remember why I like radio better. The inside of my head is like a wastepaper basket.   Be grateful that I only offer you a brief excerpt.  Oh, look, that bird is - / Where did I put that mark scheme. I'll need it for - / My shoes are getting muddier./ Maybe mash with the fish tonight / really muddy / The trees are defin...
Read more

More evidence that the wrong consonant makes all the difference to a famous book title

Image
More typo-lit, one of my favourite genres: To Kilt a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a young family move into the area from Aberdeen.  The children are found dressing the local wildlife in tartan and have to be taught that clothing innocent victims in bright material is not acceptable.  The little girl (Scot) says, 'Shoot, Pa, that's the darndest thing I ever did hear!' and there is surprise all round at her adoption of the local dialect in such a short time. To Kiln a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father teaches his children that to put an innocent bird into a red-hot oven, converting it into an attractive china piece for the kitchen, was bound to upset Aunt Alexandra when given as a birthday present, and if this was indeed their intention, they deserved a whipping.   They don't get the whipping; the father can't stand Aunt Alexandra either. To Bill a Mockingbird - a tale set ...
Read more

Reasons why Fran can get a 90,000 word novel down to a haiku if she's paid enough

Image
My first published story was in ‘Your Cat’ magazine.  (Don’t laugh … we all have to start somewhere.)  I sent the editor a 1500-word story.  She said she liked it (great!) and would publish it (fantastic!) but that I should cut it by a third and tighten up my style.  Ah.  Not so good. I loved every word of that story.  I gave birth to each one in pain and suffering, so there was NO WAY, absolutely NO WAY I was going to cut or change them.  I was determined.  I would stick to my guns.  She could forget it.  My mind was made up. Then she said she’d pay me £200 if I did the alterations.  I wavered for a whole nano-second.  U-turn Queen, that’s me, when it comes to hard cash. The editing of that heart-warming story about a couple who rediscover their love when their cat has a crisis (it was a real sick-bucket saga) taught me loads.  I hated making the changes.  I felt like a murderer, slashing and s...
Read more