Why I am short of money

Bought a new watch today as the one I've had for twenty years has gone to Timepiece Heaven. My old watch was everything I ever wanted in a watch, so I was feeling narked at having to find a new one.

As I'm perusing the selection, the assistant says to me, 'Are you looking for anything in particular?'

She thinks I'm going to say, 'No, not really. Just browsing, thanks.' and then she can go off and finish her coffee and Custard Cream behind the counter.

But she has no idea.

'I want one with a silver surround, but a leather strap, which can't be baby blue or pink, and it has to have numbers, not Roman numerals or little sticks, because, I mean, what's the point?, and it has to have the date, because I need to know it in order to write it up on the whiteboard for the students, and the face and strap can't be too big, because my arms aren't very long and the watch would use up too much of my forearm and look like a piece of medical equipment I have to wear for a chronic illness, but it can't be too small, because I'm short-sighted these days and can't see the numbers, and it has to be around £20 to £30. Other than that, no, I don't really mind what I have.'

She smiles, one of those smiles where the mouth moves but the eyes are saying 'Do people like this really have employers who pay them money to go into shops with?', and says, 'Well, I'm sure we can try to help you, Madam.'

She can't. No one can. I suppose if I went into Harrods they would make me one just the way I want, but then charge me £350 for it.

So, in the end, I buy one with a silver strap, not a leather one, and a date that I can only see if I hold the watch so far from my eyes that the actual time goes all fuzzy. It'll be OK as long as I only want time or date: not both.

And I have to pay £65 for it.

Compromise sucks. And costs money.

Why don't I just go on ebay like The Sister is always telling me to?


  1. You can always go with the big digital numbers...it is 2009, you know.
    Hey, the 80's called, and they want their watch back.

  2. haha

    because if you went on ebay, it would probably get i)lost in the post, ii) get broken in the post iii) get lost and broken in the post

  3. Retired One, can't be doing with the digital. Once the numbers pass 12 and go onto confusing things like 13 and 14, I'm lost. Scuse me while I go and put on my bright blue eyeshadow and hot pants.

  4. Richii, thanks for the reassurance. You're right. Good thing I don't have a clue about how to use ebay anyway ...

  5. You know Chris has about 6 expensive watches he was planning to sell on but never did, that he bought from eBay. You might've not had to pay at all, I have one of his (I don't think he knows he gave it to me, though...)

  6. Fran: Hey, I heard bright blue eyeshadow is coming back!
    And, if you can still look HOT in hot pants, I say: GO for it!!!

  7. You don't want to go to Ebay Fran. I've never had a successful transaction on their yet. Always been unlucky. I prefer digitals myself - nice and clear and easy to read - my eyesight isn't that brill either!

  8. Retired One - I hope you don't mind if I don't go into detail about how I'd actually LOOK in the hot pants ... put it this way, quite a lot of me would not be covered up.

  9. You're right, Naomi. I don't want to go to ebay. (As Amy Winehouse sang: Daddy said to go to ebay, and I said, no, no, no.)


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