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Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Why my Insulated Lidded Mug is now an Insulted Lidded Mug

Dear Insulated Lidded Mug
I bid you now, goodbye.
I thought you would be useful
So I gave you quite a try.
We're not allowed to carry cups
Containing liquids hot
Through corridors and classrooms;
Acceptable, it's not.

So The Husband went to Tesco
And brought you home one night.
I took you into school next day
Ecstatic with delight.
But four months on, I'm sorry, Mug;
You're going in the bin.
I have so many grievances.
Oh, where shall I begin?

You're insulated, yes, you are.
I'll give you that for free.
But insulated so damn well
That when I make my tea,
An hour later it's still hot,
Yes, far too hot to drink
So I either scald my mouth to bits
Or chuck it down the sink.

You're lidded, yes, you are indeed
But lidded oh so tight
That when I try unscrewing it
It puts up such a fight.
S'all very well to have a lid
That fits on with a snap
But not much fun to get a
Pint of hot tea in your lap.

There is a hole, oh yes, there is,
Within your plastic lid.
It seemed a brilliant idea.
At least, I thought it did
Until I tipped the mug right back
To take a little sip
And burned a hole three inches deep
Into my bottom lip.

So, Lidded Mug, my friend, 'You're fired'.
Your time with me is up.
I'll tiptoe down the corridors
With an illegal cup.
I'll brave the wrath of Health and
Safety officers galore.
They need me to obey the rules;
I need my lip skin more.

7 comments:

  1. Love it!

    Do you think you can send your mug my way? I have the opposite problem. Hot coffee immediately turns into horribly cold swill. Bleh.

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  2. Am laughing out loud at work.

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  3. Thanks, Retired One. But what did you think of the poem?

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  4. Thanks, A. Keep an eye out for next week's Ode to a Plastic Sandwich Box. (Not really.) (Well, maybe ...)

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  5. Spider, I hope people know you are looking at your mum's writing and not her photo.

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  6. Excellent job! I hate that first sip, when it's too late to turn back but you're thinking "How hot IS this stuff?"

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