Another letter from Santa

This morning's post brought another letter from Santa.

This was today's letter.

Dear Fran
Thank you for your recent letter. At first sight, seeing that it was merely a list of books, I allowed myself to think that, at last, you had come to your senses and were now making reasonable requests. However, this turns out not to be the case.

I would therefore like to confirm that I can locate no copies of the following books:

Exercising without Much Effort

Healthy Innovative Recipes with Three-Week-Old Fridge Leftovers

Speak Swahili in a Day

Buy Something Different This Christmas for your Male Relatives

Train your In-laws The Way You Want Them

Look Alluring in Tartan Pyjamas

Exercising without Any Effort

The 'Drink Liquid Chocolate' Diet

Tchaikovsky for Dummies

Slippers with Sex Appeal

DIY Liposuction on a Budget

How to Guarantee a Date with Clooney

Exercising without Exercising

I do have a spare copy of a book entitled 'How to Make Sure Santa Does Not Hurl Reindeer Dung Down Your Chimney' and I have enclosed this as you may find it useful.




  1. tcha, you never get what you really want, do you. even Santa's not what he used to be.
    I want a cookery book with all-you-can-eat recipes containing mainly carbs and chocolatey ingredients which is guaranteed to help you lose a stone in easy stages, over the course of christmas, with nigella thrown in for free to cook them and serve as Beloved's christmas present at the same time. (to be admired from a distance only)

  2. Commenting on a blog with nothing to say.

  3. Friko, if you find one of those, can you buy two and send me one?

  4. Lane, do you mean my blog has nothing to say or you have nothing to say as a comment? I'm very sorry, whichever it is.

  5. If you run across copies of any of these books, please let me know at once!

  6. Poor Santa. He has quite a challenge with you, doesn't he? He knows he can just bring me George Clooney, Brad Pitt or that Vigo guy with the cute dimple in his chin. I'm easy. In more ways than one, I suppose.

  7. Santa can't find those exercise books because he left the last copies with me last year. I have studied them judiciously and can attest to the fact that they offer factual information. Their non-exercise routines have helped me to get in shape - a very round shape!!

  8. Ah yes, that can be read more than one way.
    Actually my intent was to express my frustration at not being able to join in the merriment because my Muse was out of the room.
    Or maybe I was thinking of a book of that persuasion.
    Seems like that Muse should have been back a long time ago.
    I am adrift...or bereft...or something.

  9. I think Lane has a bit too much time on his hands.

    You on the other hand have been quite busy. All of these posts. Fantastic! You must go on bed rest more often.

  10. Lesley - I like the way you say, he can 'just' bring you George Clooney. Ah, if it were only that simple ...

  11. Rae - I won't bother with them then. I've got myself into a nice round shape without any help at all.

  12. Amanda - just trying to keep you busy. There are certain people who need to be kept out of mischief.

  13. Ha ha I love the How to Make Sure Santa Does Not Hurl Reindeer Dung Down Your Chimney' Can I borrow this one?

    Kate xx

  14. Kate, I believe it's a Scratch and Sniff edition - even better! I will send you one when I get them.

  15. Hi and thanks for visiting my blog. I love yours! I came here ten minutes ago for a quick look and am still here not having my breakfast.

  16. Welcome to my world, elizabethm. Please have a coffee and a Danish pastry on me as I made you miss your breakfast! I'm glad you enjoyed the blog.

  17. Like I say, Santa's an asshole.

  18. With customers like me, Mark, he has every excuse.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran can now forgive the ironing board incident

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Evidence that overflowing Tupperware cupboards aren't the only problem later life brings