Another letter from Santa
This was today's letter.
Thank you for your recent letter. At first sight, seeing that it was merely a list of books, I allowed myself to think that, at last, you had come to your senses and were now making reasonable requests. However, this turns out not to be the case.
I would therefore like to confirm that I can locate no copies of the following books:
Exercising without Much Effort
Healthy Innovative Recipes with Three-Week-Old Fridge Leftovers
Speak Swahili in a Day
Buy Something Different This Christmas for your Male Relatives
Train your In-laws The Way You Want Them
Look Alluring in Tartan Pyjamas
Exercising without Any Effort
The 'Drink Liquid Chocolate' Diet
Tchaikovsky for Dummies
Slippers with Sex Appeal
DIY Liposuction on a Budget
How to Guarantee a Date with Clooney
Exercising without Exercising
I do have a spare copy of a book entitled 'How to Make Sure Santa Does Not Hurl Reindeer Dung Down Your Chimney' and I have enclosed this as you may find it useful.