Evidence that plant life can be malicious and that's not just triffids
Actually, I'm not sure I can bring myself to say it ...
I just can't express it - the trauma is still with me ...
Maybe I'll just leave it until another day, when the pain has eased ....
Okay, I'll tell you. Just don't blame me if you end up sobbing.
Ready? Got your hanky?
This morning, on the way to work, a drip from a very-recently-watered hanging basket above my head fell on my glasses and made me jump.
Okay, I'll give you a moment to mop up the tears. Sorry to share such disheartening news. I know that, right now, you're sharing my distress.
Hey, what is that noise? Is that ... is that ... laughter?
Whaddya mean, mwa hah hah hah hah?
Look, sunshine. You may laugh, and think that's trivial, but if you're walking along the pavement/sidewalk/hard thing at the edge of the road, with your mind on the day ahead, and you're thinking how everything is fine and dandy and you didn't poke yourself in the eye last night and your eye bruises are healing up and no old ladies have approached you in the last week with romantic intentions, and then a dirty great globule of water hits one of your lenses, I bet YOU wouldn't like it.
Not only did I have to walk the rest of the way to walk with my right eye having clear vision and my left eye thinking it was watching a TV programme about the sea bed, but when I jumped in shock, I know that at least three car drivers who were passing laughed. I can't be doing with that kind of humiliation before going to work. I'm a teacher. I need to start with a full quota of self-esteem.
Hm. Next time, I'll know not to come to you lot with my troubles.