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Sunday, 6 June 2010

Why I should perhaps only be allowed to travel with a companion



This is a real photograph of my regular bus.  G1 bus, I love you.  Especially when you PING.


When I was on the bus recently, the sign that says 'STOPPING' which lights up whenever someone presses the bell had something wrong with it.  The lights behind the STOP bit had failed, so the only bit that lit up was the PING.  You'd think this would have only made me giggle the first time I noticed it.  But it didn't.  Someone pressed the bell to stop the bus.  PING.  Chortle chortle.  Someone else pressed it.  PING.  Chortle chortle. Someone else.  PING.  Chortle chortle.

I couldn't wait for my turn to make the PING light up.  I was so desperate for my moment.  I hovered my finger over the button as we approached my stop, grinning like an idiot.  I couldn't risk someone making it PING before I did.  That would have ruined my day.  So, PING, I went.  Chortle chortle.  And it took all my willpower to only press that button once.

I was so proud of my PING moment.  I felt dead powerful, like I was in control of the world.  I now know how Obama feels, or the Queen.

Since then, the PING sign on that bus has reverted back to STOPPING.  Oh, THANKS, bus company, for ruining my LIFE. Boring, or what?  I can't even be BOTHERED!  I wait until someone else presses it for my stop, and if no one does, then I'll just stay on the bus until I get to a stop where someone's getting off.  Okay, it's a long walk back home, but where's the fun in life with all the PING taken out of it?

40 comments:

  1. You mean, you get a bus that occasionally pings? We only get two buses a day out here, and for that we must be thankful. Heaven forbid we should hope for one that pings...we're lucky to get a driver!

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  2. Haha:) This reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me: She was on a bus, and on the buses in Norway, the stop sign lights up and there's a "ping" sound. She was wearing head phones and listening to music, so when she pressed the stop button and no lights came on she thought there was something wrong with her button. So she kept pressing it ten times or so, until she got some hefty stares from the people around her. As it turns out, it was only the light, not the sound that was broken:)

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  3. There's only one thing worse than having the ping taken out of life... and that's having too much pong put into it.

    We have G1 buses in Leamo... you've probably told me before but, are you local?

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  4. There, there, Fran; Have a choccie, that'll make it better.

    However, you have made MY day. I have read countless stories of what you get up to while travelling, but have never yet seen the bus. Now I have!

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  5. Martin - I just want ONE ride on your driverless bus. Just one.

    Alexandra - I felt your friend's pain. Once you've been humiliated on a bus, it's terrible, because there's nowhere to go!

    Steve - very.

    Friko - Thanks, Friko. Had two, if that's okay. I'm glad that seeing a picture of a bus has made your day. Been a quiet one, has it?...

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  6. If only they had known the pleasure their PINGing was bringing, they might have left well enough alone.

    You could always cover the STOP part with a sticker. I guess it wouldn't be the same, but it would be something.

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  7. Ping ping, :-) There's a big kid in all of us isn't there.

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  8. Stan - will you come to my court appearance?

    Eliza - who me? What are you saying?

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  9. Fran: Of course, and when I'm giving evidence I'll say "PING" at random to confuse the court.

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  10. Stan - this could be worth going to court for. Sounds like we could be sharing a cell.

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  11. I bet I know what sound the cell door will make when they slam it in our faces. We can perform it in stereo!

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  12. And the companion would dignify the ping, is that right?

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  13. Have you considered vandalism?

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  14. It's the little pleasures in life that make it tolerable :)

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  15. Love this! I live for such silly moments in life's routines.

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  16. You make me chortle Fran.

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  17. Ping and zing are the spice of life...

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  18. Aw! We all need a little ping in our life. How sad.

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  19. Mise - It would have to be a very well-chosen companion, who wouldn't look at me a bit gone off.

    J J Beattie - Knowing me, if I tried to disconnect the lights behind the STOP, I would electrocute myself, and that would be a very big PING indeed.

    Karen G - little? little? that was the highlight of my week!

    Vicki - But that kind of silliness IS my life's routine.

    Maggie - good. It's always nice to have a chortle-partner.

    Jinksy - you have invented a new idiom. It sounds a bit Confuciusy, don't you think?

    Talli - I can see that you feel my pain. A true friend.

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  20. TOP PINGS story Fran. Did you see what I did there?
    Anna May x

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  21. I don't get the bus any more - not since a stranger fell asleep on my shoulder and refused to budge.

    X

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  22. Suzanne - that happened to me on a train. See http://ilurveenglish.blogspot.com/2009/05/why-i-will-now-always-prefer-single.html

    Anna May - I did! I did! Do some more!

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  23. It obviously goes on a lot more than I realised. I'd say that's a good reason never to travel on any public transport.

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  24. Suzanne - how can you even suggest such a thing! What would I write about?

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  25. Ping!

    That would amuse me too.

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  26. WW - then you're a woman of taste.

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  27. Good golly, you've hit on something, Me. Pinging is obviously something people didn't know they were missing. Such a response!! When I first saw the 'ping' I thought it was a technical ping, as in internet pinging. You know? Look it up. I can't explain it.

    Don't worry, I still snortle over 'Jack and the Beans Talk' lo all these months later. Some of us just never develop the same tolerance to funnies that we do to alcohol, or chocolates, FOR INSTANCE, when you need more and more to get the same fix. You might do better to ride the bus more often than dig into that box. Don't listen to Friko.

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  28. If you had a very old slow bus and drew an 'o' over the first 'p' then when you ring the bell, it would be stooping.

    You liked to hear the bus ping, I like it when I click the little green arrow on my desktop to be allowed to unplug a USB device and hear the satisfying 'plop' that sounds like someone just finger-plopped their cheek... (why is it that every time I post a comment in your blog, an unbidden but vaguelly rude image comes to my mind? Um, that was rhetorical...)

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  29. Anna May beat me to a topping comment but all's fair in comments:-)

    I chortled all the way through that. Top pinging post:-)

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  30. I can't believe they took away your PINGing fun. That is PINGing diriculous (that's a real word). I can't PINGing believe it. Holy PINGing crap.

    I have added you to my blogroll because I am sooo PINGing PINGed off that I keep missing your PINGing fabulous posts.

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  31. Funny post. Pings are also good on a website. How many pings did you get today?

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  32. You couldn't stop chortling, and neither could I. We could grow up I suppose.

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  33. Deborah - I won't listen to Friko if you say so.

    Val - I know what you mean! That boo-loop sound.

    Lane - you have to watch Anna May, or she's in there so quick! Thanks for reading.

    Eternally Distracted - Diriculous is a superb word and I shall start using it immediately.

    Paul C - is that the same as hits?

    Elizabethm - Grow up? What? And spoil all the fun?

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  34. You could try some selective vandalism. For example, you could go for T ING - not as good as PING but, you know. And then try S ING - see the effect of that? Or ST ING. Endless possibilities.

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  35. Does it make a 'ping' sound? Like onimonipea...ping!

    Love this post.

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  36. Don't fret. You'll find something else to make you chortle round the next corner . The best people do .

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  37. Isabelle - these are great ideas. I think SING would be great, as I could then launch into a rendition of 'The Wheels on the Bus' and pretend that's what you normally do on buses, so make them all join. On STING, STING, STING I could keep shouting OW! OW! OW! and make people think there was some kind of weird connection.

    Lola - thank you! And thank you for following! Yes, it does make a PING sound. It's a sound I just can't get enough of.

    Smitonius and ... oh, bother, S & S - Yes, somehow I always do find something. Probably because just about everything seems funny to me! It's a weird look on life, and awkward at funerals.

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  38. I ordered a BEEP at the pub last night before I realized the sign was busted.

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  39. Lane - I ordered a large vine, and it took me ages to work out why they'd handed me all this greenery.

    This one could run and ru

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