More evidence that people who carry umbrellas on dry days are particularly sensitive
Dear Woman with Unnecessary Umbrella
Please forgive me. If I'd known you were one of my followers, of course I wouldn't have written about you. In future, any time you want to walk around with your umbrella up when it's dry, looking like a prize banana, please, of course, go ahead. It's totally your prerogative, should you want to make yourself the laughing stock of Warwickshire, to do so. It really isn't up to others to comment on the fact that keeping your umbrella up when it's not raining is the most ridiculous, bizarre behaviour; I accept that, I really do, and wouldn't dream of judging you for it.
Yours most sincerely,
The Woman Who Told You it Wasn't Raining To Try and Stop You Making a Damn Fool of Yourself
(Phew. Glad that's done. She'll be back tomorrow, I'm sure.)