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Friday, 24 December 2010

Reasons why no one should have let Scrooge near a musical instrument ...

Have you heard the album of songs which Scrooge has just released?  It's called 'Christmas Tunes for the Truly Miserable'.  Here's his playlist.

I'm Dreaming of Hoping There Won't Be a White Christmas As I Can't Stand the Sound of Happy Children

Let it Snow Sleet and Hail and Keep Everyone Off the Streets and from Laughing Outside my Window

Jingle Can-Someone-Stop-Making-that-God-Awful-Clanging-Noise-or-I'll-Throw-Something-I-Swear Bells

I Saw Mummy Kissing Slapping and Kicking Santa Claus Underneath the Mistletoe Last Night

Have yourself a Merry Truly Awful Little Christmas Then Perhaps You'll Think Again Next Year

All I want for Christmas is You A Bit of Peace and Quiet if that's Not Too much to Ask

Frosty the Snowman Pile of Slush that No one Bothered to Do Anything With and Too Right, I Say

Rocking Around Slobbing on the Sofa wondering whether to bother with the Christmas Tree

Everyone's Driving Home For Me Mad at Christmas

Oh, I wish it could be Christmas Every Day Fifteen Years, if That Often

Chestnuts Elves Roasting on an Open Fire

Last Christmas I Gave you my Heart a Heartfelt Kick up the Arse for Being So Cheerful

Let me think ... what rhymes with humbug?


Oh well, if Scrooge won't say it, I will.  Merry Christmas, everyone!


15 comments:

  1. And not forgetting: I Believe in [Father Christmas] Waiting For The January Sales To Buy You That Expensive Piece Of Tat That You Wanted

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  2. I could go along with that every-15-years one...

    Merry Christmas, Fran! Eat some cake, why don't you?

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  3. Do you think Santa's therapist could help him? Or perhaps he doesn't need any help, eh?

    Thanks for all the witty prose, and may you have a happy Christmas!

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  4. AH humbug, could be replaced with dung beetle......... have a Merry Christmas

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  5. Happy Christmas, Fran! It's chocs, mince pies, chocs, turkey, chocs, Christmas pudding, chocs, booze, chocs, etc, etc, all the way...or, perhaps I've got you all wrong?

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  6. Ah, sounds like my kind of Christmas!

    I got shut out from your blog for a few weeks... I think it was my dongle (oo-er, missus) but I'm back just in time to wish you a very Merry Christmas and all the best for 2011.

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  7. Steve - do I sense just a teeny-weeny-weeny bit of humbug there?...

    Isabelle - we haven't even GOT a Christmas cake. Perhaps I'm more like Scrooge than I think ...

    Raining Acorns - I think Santa's therapist might be very happy to correspond with Scrooge - happier than with me, anyway.

    Karen Whittal - there's something very non-Christmassy about the words 'dung beetle' - I can't work out what it is, but there is.

    Martin - yep, you've got that all wrong. Where on earth have you got that impression?

    Chris - I hope your dongle is on its way to recovery, and Merry Christmas to you too!

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  8. Boy, can I appreciate this. Have a grand day.

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  9. ... ad that other classic - Feck the Halls!

    Happy Christmas to you and yours, Fran.

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  10. What happened to, " All I want for Christmas is me two front teef ? "

    Merry Christmas - glad to meet ya ! xx

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  11. I'm trying. I'm really trying.
    But I'm having a little bit of difficulty not feeling sympathetic to the ol' Scroogemeister...

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  12. You haven't got a Christmas cake?????

    I think you have more in common with Mrs Scrooge than you're willing to admit.

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  13. Hope you had a lovely Christmas day.

    My daughter was delighted to find a book of Zombie carols in her stocking - but they're not as good as Scrooge's playlist.

    XX

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  14. Hope you had a very merry Christmas, Fran. Thanks for making me smile so much the last couple of months. Abby

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