Evidence that even when not on a bus or walking I can make a complete eejit of myself
But if anything HAD happened, I don't think I'd have posting about it under a facetious title like 'Reasons not to take the shortcut, ho ho ho, I'm so hilarious!' You would have seen the headlines elsewhere.
I will need to consider whether or not I should walk the extra five minutes to go the lighted way. But that's past the fish and chip shop. Both are extremely dangerous routes, therefore.
So, no walking stories .............
what DID happen, while I was just sitting still in a meeting went like this ...
1. Get to meeting - pray that residual cough doesn't rear its ugly head during proceedings.
2. Feel tickle in throat during really quiet bit.
3. Sense tickle becoming more than tickle.
4. Start to cough. The more I cough, the quieter the meeting gets. (Why is this always the case?)
5. Cough as though I have TB, swine flu, bird flu, and whateveritis-oniosis that miners get.
6. Have to leave the room, coughing over people in an attempt to apologise.
7. Head straight for the table where the teas and coffees are laid out for break time.
8. Still coughing, fill a mug of water with water straight from the urn. (Please don't ask me why. I just did. Call it momentary loss of sense due to TB, swine flu, bird flu ...) .
9. Still coughing, DRINK SOME BOILING HOT WATER.
10. Still coughing, realise I have drunk boiling hot water. Experience pain - as well as coughing.
11. Still coughing, still paining, look round - realise that the dining hall is full of other people who are hoping that someone else has got a first aid certificate.
12. Still coughing, still in pain, walk through all those people towards the ladies toilets, looking like I've just escaped from a sanitorium, eyes streaming, nose streaming, coughing like a steam train.
13. Five minutes later, come back, and have to walk through them all again, while they stare.
14. Re-enter the meeting.
15. Five minutes later, feel tickle in throat and have to leave meeting again.
16. Face SAME lot of people ..... blah blah blah cough splutter cough splutter
Honestly. Why can't I just go to a meeting like any ordinary person in her first day of a new job, sit in the chair, contribute nicely and make a good impression without doing an 'I'm-really-just-rehearsing-for-my-new-role-as-a-world-war-one-gas-victim' act?
Needless to say, on my lonely, isolated, desolate walk home from school, and since then, not a tickle in sight. But that tender skin on the roof of my mouth hurts like crazy. Ouch.
Tomorrow the teaching begins. Let's hope I can retain a shred of dignity in front of the kids, even if I can't manage it in front of a room of adults.