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Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Reasons why the traditional typewriter doesn't deserve to die .....

So, it's all computers now.  No one uses the typewriter any more ..... *sigh of middle-aged woman who trained as a secretary in the 1970s*


Ah, but, those were the days when ....


1. Parents of wayward teenagers who said, sighing with relief, 'Oh, well, at least young Monica's out of danger now she has a reliable typing job' severely underestimated the high induced by sniffing Tippex thinning fluid.

2. If you wanted to murder someone by dropping a typewriter on them from the fourth floor, there were no tricky wires to undo first.

3. You felt like you were working hard even if you weren't really, because anyone making that kind of racket HAD to be getting SOMETHING done.  (The same claim has been made for years by men who 'mend' roads by drilling them, despite obviously making the situation worse.)

4. Having to correct the top copy and the four carbon copies underneath one by one was what you did before Zumba was invented.

5. When things went wrong, and the IT man came up and said, 'Try turning it off and turning it on again', you could just say, 'Look, I'll go off for a coffee break, moron, while you look for the switch'.

6.You didn't have to waste energy stirring the sugars into your tea.  You just put the sugar in the mug, then put the mug next to the typewriter.  By the time you'd typed another letter, job done.

7. The hearing problems you got in your mid-twenties couldn't definitely be blamed on the Bay City Roller concerts and all the screaming, because the typing pool could equally have been to blame.

8. Moving a typewriter from one office to another only needed one secretary, not a whole IT department, four trolleys and the big guy borrowed from Accounts.

9. You could shift your typewriter from one side of the desk to another without pulling out so many wires that you cut off all the electricity in the West Midlands.

10. No one ever accidentally sent a carefully typed letter to all fourteen thousand members of one organisation rather than one close friend saying, 'I think the boss is an arsehole.  LOL'


One minor disadvantage .....


This is embarrassing.  How long do I leave it before admitting that my fingers are stuck between the keys
 and I haven't typed anything for three hours?

11 comments:

  1. Ohhhh... I sent the link to my friend who worked on the school newspaper with me. Many hours spent fighting with stencils and "booboo goop"! Good times.

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  2. I was reminiscing this very weekend about learning to type on a manual typewriter and then using some word processing software called 'wang' when I first started work - how spooky. I'm in possession of 2 old typewriters, neither of which have working ribbons. I've resorted to buying carbon paper to create some hand-typed bits and bots. They just look so lovely.

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  3. You'd have thought there would be enough typewriter loving people left in the world to keep at least one factory going, wouldn't you? A bit like CD's or milk floats!

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  4. Love it! What am I going to blame my hearing problems on now?

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  5. LOL! My Mom had turquoise Smith-Corona that she let me play with as a kid, and I distinctly remember the feel of getting my fingers stuck between the keys. Ouch! And you had to practically jump on the keys to make them move - there was no hydraulic assist. I can`t imagine how women, and who are we kidding, it was women, typed all day on those things. Their hands must have been so strong. - G
    PS. - Does the fact that I drooled over the pictures in the mashable article make me a hipsterÉ Ugg, I hope not. Why does everything I happen to like get attributed to a hipster trendÉ - G

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  6. Ha ha! That É is supposed to be a question mark, but I pressed some stupid buttons on this damn keyboard and it decided to arbitrarily reassign that key to something else and now I don`t know how to fix it. Do youÉ I bet that wouldn`t happen with an old typewriter, now would itÉ - G

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  7. I was a secretary for a few years and only had a manual typewriter! I tell you; I didn't make many errors back then ;)
    xx

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  8. I loved my old Olivetti but let's be honest... changing the ribbon was always a real fag and often messy.

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  9. The best thing about typewriters was the BING as you pushed the carriage back. I loved it. It sounded like progress.

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  10. I am heart-broken to learn this--and thus reveal that

    I grow old … I grow old …/
    I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

    Probably no one does that anymore, either.

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  11. Anonymous4/5/11 13:54

    I have a typewriter and I'm only 16. I got it last year and it's thanks to you I did :)

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