I learned some things while performing poetry at the Chipping Campden Comedy Club last night. (I just realised that could be shortened to CCCC which sounds something a very accommodating Italian would say.) I thought I would pass on my new-found wisdom in case you find yourself in a similar situation.
Lesson 1. Don't take your sister, if she resembles you closely, to any of your performances. She will get half of the thanks for your performance afterwards and, also, you will get people looking at you strangely and thinking how much you look like that woman who performed her poetry.
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| As for differences between the sisters, there were nun at all. |
Lesson 2. Make sure you have planned for the likelihood that a cat will stroll into the performance space while you are mid-poem. Have a wittier comment ready for the occasion than mine, which was 'Oh! Oh! I can't believe this!' (which was ad libbing at its very, very creative best). And bear in mind that the people at the back won't have seen the cat and will wonder what the HELL you are talking about.
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| 'Interrupt my performance again, sunshine, and you're stew.' |
3. Nerves will get to you before the performance, so you may need to visit the loo in the pub you're in while waiting to arrive at the venue. If you do, accept, the
first time it happens, that the reason the loo door won't open is because
someone is in there already. Don't persist in rattling the door like an dork as though you're trying to free it from its hinges. You will only have to go back into the pub in order to avoid being there when the person you have terrified with your rattling ventures out of the cubicle.
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Esmerelda had been in the cubicle for three hours now, too scared to come out
in case the herd of wildebeest was still there. |
Love this :-)
ReplyDeleteI just hope your performance ended with a bang, not a wimple.
ReplyDeletetee hee... still giggling at the very accommodating Italian!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI must confess 'in all my years' I've never been upstaged by any kind of feline. Did it by chance have... (wait for it, wait for it)... 'poetic paws'?
Well done you, anyway!
I guess the abbreviation would be OK so long as the accommodating Italian (aren't they all?!) was from Assisi -'Si, si, si, si - Assisi'
ReplyDelete"Anybody wish to claim this pussy?"
ReplyDeleteAnd other than that, how did it go?
ReplyDeleteVery funny post from you, as always!
billygean - thank you! And I'm glad we are fellow Twits.
ReplyDeleteMartin - boom, boom! You are the Punmeister.
Broken Biro - yes, it had poetic paws and purrfect rhythm. And, you mean, you've never had your performance interrupted by a cat? You just aren't booked at the right venues, my friend.
Vintage - now wipe the spit off your chin.
Steve - trust you.
Raining Acorns - other than that, it went very well! Actually, I think the mistaken identity, the cat issue and the toilet drama all contributed to the evening.
Fran...how adventurous you are! I so admire the risk taking involved in live performance. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteA cat with literary leanings , obviously .
ReplyDeleteHe he, poor kitty! You are very very brave. Good for you :-)
ReplyDeleteSo funny! And the pictures...!
ReplyDeleteCCCC? Chipping Campden Cricket Club shurely?
ReplyDeleteDamn, Steve beat me to it. Jeez! I can't imagine ever going on stage, well done you for leaving the loo and Doing It. (I loved the photo captions too!).
ReplyDeleteSend my love to Chipping Campden, I miss the cotswolds
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing
martine
Nana - there's a RISK? Blimey, why don't people TELL me these things?
ReplyDeleteSmitandSon - And waiting to give me a round of appaws.
Eliza - is that the CAT is brave, or I was brave?...
I'm Crayon - I love searching google for pics and making up captions. It's my new hobby.
Martin - if you wish ... but, no!
Chris - it's easy. You just forget that there are risks .... (see Nana's comment)
Martine - me, too. We always holidayed there when the kids were little. We tried swapping them for some sheep with a local farmer but it didn't work. Never mind.
o
ReplyDeletewe thought the cat was YOURS ...
... we've posted it back to you
ReplyDeleteVanessa - I presume you've sent it back by Royal Meowl.
ReplyDeleteBad Fran. Stop. Tormenting. Kittens. (This is how we punctuate in Scotland.)
ReplyDeleteIsabelle - Okay. I. Will. Just. For. This. Month.
ReplyDeleteAww Fran you are funny - only you could have a cat wonder onto your set half way through! What on earth was a cat doing in a pub anyway?!
ReplyDelete