But, while I'm here, I have a few thoughts about following instructions.
1. On the toilet roll holder in a cubicle at work today, I saw that it said, 'If toilet roll has run out, turn clockwise for another roll'. Well, the roll did run out, and what a rigmarole that is! Standing up. Pants round your knees. Turning round a few times (I got it wrong at first and went anticlockwise - I didn't get my Spatial Awareness O'level). And all that in a small cubicle only just bigger than me. What's more, not even a SUGGESTION of a new toilet roll making its way down. What a con that is. Next time I'll take my own tissue. Pff.
2. Last week, I bought this chocolate steamed pudding which came in a tin. It said on the side, 'Pierce the can lid and then stand in a pan of boiling water for 20 minutes'. Well, I was thirteen hours in A & E after that and the blisters still haven't gone down. Not just that, but you try clambering up onto your gas cooker to get two size 7 feet into a pressure cooker full of boiling water. I had to get the ladder out of the loft and EVERYthing. Don't these manufacturers THINK?
3. I was trying to get a cup of coffee from a machine recently. The sign said, 'Select your coffee option and then depress the red button.' Well! I'd been there for half an hour, telling that button what a rotten, useless, ugly waster of a red button it was and that it should be ashamed of itself, and STILL no coffee. Plus, there was a whole CROWD behind me, obviously wanting a coffee too. I just don't get it.
4. I was travelling on the underground recently and a sign said, 'Baby buggies MUST be carried on the escalator.' Blimey, it took me ages to get that organised, people being singularly unwilling to let me borrow their buggies so I could get down to the lower level. In the end, the woman I wrestled the buggy from - not to mention its yelling baby occupant - didn't seem too happy, but, heck, I was in a hurry. And now a court case! I mean, how unjust is THAT?
|You see, I was trying to take one of my new headache tablets, and it said, 'Press down cap and twist.' |
I've been dancing for hours now and I don't feel ANY better. I'm definitely going to sue.