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Friday, 10 February 2012

Reasons why Fran is not an Olympic athlete

Overheard at a bus stop.....



I lie.  I overheard nothing.  It was my own conversation.  But, for a moment there, you thought you might hear something interesting.  I hope you enjoyed your nano-second of tension.  It's all down hill from here.

Me: 'So, your father and I are coming up to Sheffield to see you at half-term, then.'

Daughter: 'Yeah, that'll be nice.'


Me: 'Dad says you'll be wanting to visit some remote place called Castleton.'

Daughter: 'Oh, fine.  Okay, then. Yeah.  Let' s go there.'


Me: 'Dad says you took him there before, and you love it there because of the beautiful scenery and the bus ride through the countryside.'

Daughter: 'Well ....'


Me: 'He says you love the whole nature thing, the walking, the views.'


[Pause.]


'Mum, I like it because of the fudge.'


It's at moments like these that my little mummy heart bursts with pride.  There's nothing more rewarding than knowing you have passed on to the next generation the best bits of your personality, your skills, your attributes, your instincts, your ambitions and desires.

I once made a whole batch of fudge to give people at Christmas.  I put it all in a box and hid it at the back of a wardrobe from the rest of the family, forgetting that, in fact, the only person who was likely to raid it and eat it was me.

We gave everyone tins of biscuits from Tesco that year.

Tonight, I am not eating fudge, but I have persuaded the husband to open a box of toffee he was given for Christmas (presumably by someone who could Control Themselves).  I have eaten SO much toffee, and I feel bad, because someone could have used that same amount of toffee to stick together our broken world.

The husband said he was going to put the box somewhere Up High, just in case.  I presume he meant one of the shelves in the house......












Fran's husband was taking no chances. 


I have started a new blog post category called Me and Food.  I should have done it years ago, because the topic seems to creep into completely dominate so many of my posts.

34 comments:

  1. An enjoyment of the finer things in life is a wonderful thing to pass on to one's children .

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    1. So it is. I will try it one day ...

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  2. Is it Thorntons toffee? I find that has the same effect as chocolate (ie you have to go on eating it long after you've had Enough).

    I'm glad your'e daughter is inheriting all the right things. After all, who wants to be good at maths when they can eat fudge?

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    1. Thorntons, yes. Which is funny, because, have you ever tried saying, 'I'm chewing some Thornton's toffee?' while actually doing so?

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  3. I loved this, especially when I got to the pic. Am smiling.

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    1. It made me smile, too. And he's still up there, poking toffees into the roof tile crevices.

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    2. Can he come back in now? It is awful cold here this morning, 15C for a summer February midday is odd. And it's raining ...

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    3. Not until he promises to bring all the toffee back in.

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  4. It is impolite to ramble on & on about fudge & toffee without offering some to your guests.............

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  5. I am so sorry, fishducky. But as you can tell I am the kind of person who steals her husband's Christmas presents. So I am unlikely to be that polite.

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  6. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on food, one of my favorite subjects.

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    1. I think you'll find that looking through my old posts will leave you satiated. It is an alarmingly common theme.

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  7. Nothing wrong with fudging your way through life. Ever considered politics?

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    1. I think it might make me toffee-nosed.

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  8. what's the name of the occurence where sheep all over the world do something simultaneously (or did I dream that they did that and it had a name)?

    It must've happened last night because I dared to open the HUGE box of Belgian Seashell chocs I'd been given as a Christmas pressie and also, without paying heed to the warning that had previously made me hide them on the top shelf of the larder although I'm the only person with a tooth sweet enough to eat them, made an absolute biffo of myself pretending that eating one choc per minute was called restraint!

    The newspapers are always full of days of the year classed as The Most Depressing or The Least Spending, so last night was probably Give Way to Willpower...

    Enjoy the rest of your choc fuelled weekend (yes, they are VERY tasty on top of porridge)
    x

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    1. One per MINUTE! You are positively Puritan!

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  9. Fudge is a universal motivator. All intelligent people know that.

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    1. That explains my dynamism.

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  10. The title of this should be "Reasons why Fran's daughter is not an Olympic athlete".

    It's REALLY GOOD FUDGE.

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    1. I'm looking forward to finding out just HOW good ..

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  11. I don't think my teeth could cope with huge amounts of toffee sadly ( I am slowly becoming my own mother )
    Joe went to Castleton on a week's residential primary school trip. ( They wanted somewhere very different from where we live on the south coast ) He spent all his spending money on a shell for me which obviously came from somewhere hot & by the sea. Not Castleton anyroad. Bless him. He's in New York now on another School trip .... I've hinted that I'd like The Empire State building ( in a glass snow shaker )

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    1. I have to say, the teeth thing does make me a little more careful than I would have been in my wild youth. I love the shell story!

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  12. Are you still married? If anyone tried to separate me from my innocent pleasures (well, a pound of chocolate never did ME any harm!) that would be the end of it.

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    1. He has to separate me from fudge, Friko (if that's not an alarming visual image) to save me from myself ...

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  13. Yay for your daughter having her priorities in the right place. I visit all manner of lovely parks etc purely for the cakes in the tea shop. I also have been known to be highly territorial over chocolate. It's not one of my prouder moments.

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    1. Jayne, chocolate was invented so we could fight each other over it. People say religion starts all the wars, but, seriously ....

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  14. Ah, trust me, you would be better going to the Fat Cat on Kelham Island.

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  15. Hands off that toffee Mum, I'm pretty sure that was a present from ME!

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    1. I'm pretty sure it was. This is why it's wiser to give him dark chocolate and Turkish Delight, neither of which I'm that keen on.

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  16. I would rather eat septic eyeballs than toffee or fudge but there is nowhere in the world high enough to hide chocolate from me! Loved the pic.

    Anna May x

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    1. You don't like toffee or fudge? You are taking the wrong medication.

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  17. That was bloody well funny. The bit when your daughter admits that she likes the trip because of the fudge!! I laughed out loud (on my own - that makes me look weird).

    And that was before you said you could use the fudge to stick together our broken world .. hahahahahahahaa!!!

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    1. You win Comment of the Day award. Thanks, Annie, for laughing alone just for me.

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