Evidence that rugby isn't one of Fran's specialist subjects
1. If someone leaps on someone from your team, leap on them too, in a male body equivalent of one-potato-two-potato-three-potato-four. It's a fun game.
2. The more you resemble a double garage on two legs, the more use you are in a scrum.
3. Watching rugby on TV means that, when they kick the ball towards the goal (is it called a goal?) you, the viewer, are going 'did it go through? did it? did it?' because you can never tell from the angle
4. There are two opportunities for men without necks to be on TV. One is as a player in a rugby game and the other is on 'Embarrassing Bodies'.
5. Only other people the size of a small island can withstand being launched into head-first by someone else the size of a small island. Anyone else would die.
6. There are only two types of people in the world with thighs quite that big: a) rugby players; b) people who appear on 'The Fattest People in the World' programmes. Neither, given natural laws, ought to be able to achieve forward motion. But the rugby players manage it.
7. The TV studio that the pundits are in is either very small, or it just looks like that because the men in it each weigh 92 stone. It's a wonder there's any oxygen left in there for them to have breath left for punding.
8. Calling what they score a 'try' seems weird when they managed it perfectly well.
Anyway, I'm only watching it to avoid doing marking as an alternative to other procrastination activities I have engaged in before. These activities have included:
1. ironing a multi-pack of creased post-it notes
2. mowing the lawn with nail scissors
3. cleaning the grouting between the bathroom tiles with an inter-dental brush
England won over Ireland anyway. Which I'm really pleased about, but don't ask me how they did it.
|One thing Fran couldn't understand was why they didn't use a proper ball which|
would make it all so much easier