WHAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS BLOG

Monday, 7 May 2012

Evidence that Fran's Bank Holiday weekend was not consistently entertaining

Diary of my weekend:

Saturday morning:  Rehearse for evening's gig.  Practise in front of mirror for 3 seconds holding a Sure deodorant as a microphone and trying to make 'I'm relaxed' faces.  Practise without mirror.

Saturday afternoon: Go and see granny in care home.  (My Granny, not just anyone's - I don't just drop in and demand to visit an octogenarian on a whim.)  Accept offer of cup of tea from one of the carers.  Tell her 'just milk, no sugar, please'. Drink tea with fourteen sugars in, trying to keep a normal face, eg one that doesn't look like a cat's anus.

Saturday evening: Do gig.  Do poem about apostrophes, then one about colons, then read out a chapter from my book which has the phrase 'glamour model' in it.  (Don't ask.)  Pronounce it as 'grammar model'.  Carry out tricky backtracking manoeuvre and just about get away with it.

Sunday morning: Go to church in a pub, and sing songs to God while looking at a fruit machine.  Straight after church, order glass of wine and have a lasagne and garlic bread.  Vow never to go to church in a church again.

Sunday afternoon:  Mark essays.

Sunday evening:  Mark essays.

Monday morning:  Mark essays.

Monday afternoon:  Mark essays.

Monday evening:  Mark essays.  Plan lessons.  Write this blog.


Is it just my imagination, or did the general tenor of my weekend deteriorate?

Somewhere in the pile, Fran hoped, was a student who  knew the difference between they're, their and there







27 comments:

  1. You'll always be a grammar model to me. You're my literary centrefold.

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    1. Ha ha ha. The only chance I'll ever get!

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  2. Is (there) a difference?

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    1. Between glamour and grammar? Now I come to think of it ... not when you're as crazy about punctuation as I am.

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  3. Fruit machine? Church? I'm confused. Did you find a single student who could handle there their they're? How about your you're? Is lose loose a problem area, too? If it gets too bad, throw the essays down the stairs and decide the grade according to where they land.

    Love,
    Janie Lola von Junebug

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    1. It's a local free church that uses a pub as its meeting place. Cool. Yes, lose and loose often confused (it rhymes!) Thanks for the stair advice. I'll try that one.

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  4. Church probably had a bigger influence on the latter part of your weekend, than you realise. There must have been readings from the gospel, according to Mark.

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    1. Ha ha. Wit of the Week, you.

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  5. Well, you didn't miss much as it was so wet! And while we're talking apostrophes, do you get annoyed when Frances's is spelt Frances'? As though we're the pleural of France? (I assume you're a Frances, and am trying to think of other names that shorten to Fran. Nope. Can't think of any.)

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    1. Ah, that apostrophe use is a tricky one. I think both are technically correct - it's just that Frances' chocolate rather than Frances's chocolate looks so weird. Yes, I'm a Frances, although I could have been a Francesca, I guess.

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  6. Oh go on, start visiting grannies at random - think what happiness you'll spread, especially when you make that face that you do when you drink tea-flavoured syrup!

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    1. Actually I think Random Granny Visiting probably would be a great way to spend a day. My Granny's pretty Random already though so I'm kind of doing that anyway.

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  7. Pub church-heavenly! "Grammar model" seems completely appropriate to me. (Not to insinuate that "glamour model" is not.) But I'm not asking.

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    1. Pub church is good. Two metres from pew to bar.

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  8. Isn't there an App you can buy? (for marking essays, I mean, not for visiting your grannie)

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    1. An app that combined both would be helpful.

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  9. Ah, I love a tenor myself, even a slightly deteriorated one. It's my dear husband's one fault: he never serenades me.

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    1. Mine never serenades me, although I'd hate to be steeped in lemon juice and spices overnight anyway.

      Have I got that right?

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  10. I thought you were called Frangipane ?

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    1. I am changing my name immediately to Frangipane. What a great idea.

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  11. Church in a pub ? Maybe I could cope with that ? Teachers in pubs can be a bad thing... I remember a very young teacher at my sixth form having a night out in the pub we all went to then & inviting some of the lads back to his flat. They decided to mark his books after he crashed out.

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    1. Ha ha! I wonder if the kids noticed! I will bear your story in mind and hide all my books if I ever bring people back after a drunken and debauched night out.

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  12. Ever since I read this post I think of you every time my cat sashays by and raises her tail.

    This post was a Fran classic - gigs and grannies and grammar and bums. First class!

    Anna May x

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  13. I've never had anyone tell me before that they think of me when they see their cat's anus. Oh well. Always a first time.

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  14. Replies
    1. Chortle chortle. You saw a link where I didn't!

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  15. The glass of wine sounded good, Fran:)

    My weekend was not one of the best either - watched son no 2 run out for 3 runs, son no 3 bowled for a duck and then son no 2 again dropped three time before being bowled. Just when you want to rain - it doesn't.

    I hope the marking is over soon!

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