I watched a wasp die on the bus yesterday morning.
I know, as an opener, it's not the same as 'Hey, did you see the latest episode of Game of Thrones? but it's all I have to offer.
I'm nervous about wasps. I'm sure, if they could talk, they'd say they were nervous about me too. But all I have in my armoury is a rolled-up newspaper and a bad aim. They have a stinger. And, close up, they're pretty scary.
A wasp in a field, I can cope with. A wasp in the garden, just about.
But a wasp on the bus is a cross wasp. (Move along, Dr Seuss.)
I saw it progressing along a window two seats in front of me. It was crawling my way.
I don't mean, crawling in the way I'd crawl, as in 'Oof, oof, my knees, and how will I ever get up from this position?' I mean, crawling towards me.
I expected a confrontation. I picked up the copy of the Metro I'd collected when I got on the bus and began rolling.
It crawled nearer. But it was slow.
Aha. A trick! A clever …
As if the supermarkets weren't stealing enough business as it is!
ReplyDeleteI'd have married you in the bread aisle... cos you're the best thing since sliced bread. ;-)
Crumbs!
DeleteYou're a 'natural', Fran. In comedy, you've either got it, or you waste a lot of time trying to convince others that it really is in there, somewhere. You have definitely got it, and I wish you every success.
ReplyDeleteThat's very kind, Mr H.
DeleteBrilliant !! But I've just discovered if I laugh too much , I end up with a stitch .
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm off to the supermarket , doubled over , and sure to bring home something in vinegar .
Don't get in a pickle. Thanks for watching!
DeleteFabulous, and we loved Doreen and the Empty Nest too. Never knew there was a poetry club in Chipping Campden, feel so deprived, we used to live in Moreton in Marsh.
ReplyDeletemuch love
martine
Hi Martine - The evening the Pickle Aisle Bride was filmed was part of the Chipping Campden Literature Festival Fringe. Creative Cows also run a regular comedy club. It's definitely a 'happening scene' I think is the way to describe it. Thanks for watching the videos.
DeleteYou have such fabulous comic timing and you look so young! Smooth skin, no double chin - ah, my lost youth.
ReplyDeleteLook so young! No double chin! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... oops, slipped a disc laughing.
ReplyDeleteAgain, so fun to "see" you, Fran! Definitely forwarding to my punny uncle!
ReplyDeleteHope punny uncle enjoys. Thanks!
DeleteWhat a star, Fran. I loved the additional verses. It got funnier, and I agree, you are a natural.
ReplyDeleteThank you, kind sir. Oops, kind lady.
DeleteIf I'd married in the pickle aisle, perhaps I would have gotten divorced sooner or not married at all. I hate pickles and won't eat them. I'm also not too fond of Dr. X. With pickles all around, I would have run, and now I'd be having fun with a sugar cookie man from the bakery. My "serious" poems are such a bore compared to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
The world needs serious poets too, Janie, and I do a bit of that myself. You can't have everyone being trivial and shallow ...
DeleteI like this poem a lot - it has much appeal to my sense of humour. I blame my pun-full father.
ReplyDeleteThanks, wide eyed! Glad you enjoyed it. Pun-full fathers should be honoured for passing on joie de vivre, in my opinion.
Delete