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Wednesday, 6 June 2012

More evidence that the wrong consonant makes all the difference to a famous book title

More typo-lit, one of my favourite genres:

To Kilt a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a young family move into the area from Aberdeen.  The children are found dressing the local wildlife in tartan and have to be taught that clothing innocent victims in bright material is not acceptable.  The little girl (Scot) says, 'Shoot, Pa, that's the darndest thing I ever did hear!' and there is surprise all round at her adoption of the local dialect in such a short time.

To Kiln a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father teaches his children that to put an innocent bird into a red-hot oven, converting it into an attractive china piece for the kitchen, was bound to upset Aunt Alexandra when given as a birthday present, and if this was indeed their intention, they deserved a whipping.   They don't get the whipping; the father can't stand Aunt Alexandra either.

To Bill a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father has to teach his children that mockingbirds are allowed to fly over the house without being brought down by a catapult and made to sing before being allowed to continue their journey.  The children complain that they have a whole summer ahead of them and what else are they meant to do now that the only entertainment around, a rabid dog, has been shot?

To Dill: a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America, written in the second person and addressed to one of the main characters.  Two young children, allowed to roam free by their father who is a busy lawyer, play for several summers with what they think is a young boy called Dill.  By the fourth summer, however, they begin to wonder how Dill gets around so quickly, why he has developed a predilection for collecting twigs, why his voice is getting higher rather than lower, and, finally, the thing about the beak.  The day that Dill lays an egg when they are at the table eating cornbread results in an epiphany for the whole family and a much more interesting puzzle than why Boo Radley won't come out of his house.  The two children write their account of that summer in epistolary form, subtitled, 'We need to talk about Dill' and make a fortune, which helps out Father when his court cases don't go too well.


'To Mill a Mockingbird'.  Another kind of book entirely.


43 comments:

  1. I've read all of these, including one other--"To Fill a Mockingbird". I couldn't believe how much the central character could stuff down his gullet!

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  2. "To Pill a Mockingbird" -- he needed antidepressants after seeing Boo.

    "To Will A Mockingbird" -- leave everything to him and really piss off your kids.

    Love,
    Janie

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  3. You missed Two Nil A Mockingbird... Man U lose a novelty match with disasterous consequences.

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  4. And the next-to-last in the series: Too Ill A Mockingbird.

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  5. (Not to mention the naughty one: To Thrill A Mockingbird. Or is that just about our bird indulging in extreme sports?)

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  6. SO annoying when the comments are funnier than the actual post.

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  7. I do wish you wouldn't do this - you're lured me away from my edits, and now I've started thinking about book titles instead of book contents. I especially like your comment above. To Thrill A Mockingbird indeed.

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    1. That's right, blame me!

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    2. Oh, good - thanks! 'Sorry my edits are taking longer than they should - it's Fran's fault.' Nope, I don't think that's going to work. *Applies nose to grindstone again*

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  8. OMG I am currently re-reading the origional which I first read as an impressionable sixteen year old. I will now read it in a new light - thank you.

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    1. I'm re-reading it, too, because I'm about to teach it! (It always helps if you know the book well....) I'm loving it, though, even if I have completely spoiled it for everyone.

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  9. Our local re-cycling shop labels the detective and and police novels on its shelves as Trillers .
    "To Trill A Mockingbird" ?

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    1. I would be SO tempted to draw the h in for them. But that would be pedantic. And I can never be accused of be - And I wouldn't dare.

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  10. To Krill a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America, where a defence lawyer gets baited, and the prosecution has a whale of a time.

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  11. To Grill a Mockingbird -- either he endures tough questioning by the prosecutor or it's dinner time. : (

    Love,
    Janie

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  12. And then after the grilling and the dinner, you put the leftovers in the fridge: to chill the.... .

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  13. Will you lot STOP being wittier than me! A woman needs to hang on to her self-esteem.

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  14. I love it when you do one of these! The mockingbirds are so annoying around my house I think I'd like To Mill a Mockingbird!

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  15. Mockingbirds are ANNOYing? That puts a whole new angle on Lee Harper's book and certainly weakens it as a symbol for innocence and vulnerability!!!

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    1. Fran, If you're going to teach this novel, I really think you should get the author's name right. Silly, funny girl. Look at how you stirred our imaginations and made us laugh.

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    2. Ha ha! What was I DOING? Call it a senior moment. I keep having th ... the .... what was I saying?

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  16. Births:
    To Zilla, mockingbird: twins (ie two eggs)

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  17. "Tickle A Mockingbird"..... and that's my final offer , take it or leave it .

    ( Sorry , I watched that programme about the new Spitalfields market last night and I've come over all belligerent. )

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    1. Tickle a Mockingbird - love it. I accept your final offer.

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  18. To Kill a Shocking Bird.

    To Kill a Frothing Bird.

    Yes, I know, I've taken a different path here. But hey, you can always delete this comment!

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    1. Hey, different paths are good! Shocking birds and frothing birds need an audience like everybody else!

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  19. To Kill a Mockingbiro.

    Because the pen is mockinger than the sword, and it must be destroyed.

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    1. Yes! Yes! A stationery themed one!

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  20. Tequila Mockingbird - a new cocktail?

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    1. And the ingredients ......??? I think I'll have a Diet Coke, thanks.

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  21. To Frill a Mockingbird? Because frills are the new flounces.

    Anna May x

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    1. Such a great visual image.

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  22. ha ha.... that hasmused me on this delightful June wash-out!!

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    1. In this weather, we need all the amusement we can get.

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  23. Be still, my Mockingbird heart. Fran has spoken.

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  24. Let's hope your heart doesn't go still as a result. That would be an awful responsibility on my shoulders, just for writing a blog post.

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  25. Let me see if I have this right. You started this pun fest because you have to 'sell' this book to innocent young students, and yet you completely neglected to mention that you were off to shill a mockingbird?

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    1. I had to google 'shill' for the definition. One more word in my personal lexicon.

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  26. Guerilla Mockingbird: the story of the rogue male in the flock.

    Come on now, Fran, tell us: are you a granny yet?

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    1. Or Gorilla Mockingbird - an unusual partnership results in strange offspring with feathers which eats bananas.

      No grandchild yet ... was due today. I will let you know, don't worry.

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  27. Eh up Fran, sorry I haven't stopped by in a while .... it's been a bit manic in these parts. But I am bloody glad I did ... your post made me laugh my head off you loon!

    'To Pill a Mocking Bird'. Over cocky bird needs subduing with a chemical cosh.

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    1. It's okay, Annie. I understand manic very well. Love your suggestion.

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