WHAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS BLOG

Friday, 8 February 2013

Evidence that bread and butter pudding can reduce one's chances of ever being published by Faber & Faber

I am so in love with bread and butter pudding that I would willingly have an affair with it if a) such a thing were possible and b) I were able to do so without subjecting my husband to the ignominious accusation of being cuckolded by a dessert.

Having accepted that adultery with a pudding is probably not the way ahead, here instead is a poem about the pudding I made tonight.  Step aside, Wordsworth.





Tonight I made a bread and butter pudding.
It looked just like the one that's in this pic. 
I made it on a whim all of a sudden.
You've never seen a pudding made so quick
(Forgive the adjective instead of adverb
But rhyming at this time of night is tough.)
We'd had our main meal and I fancied pudding
And just a toffee yogurt's not enough.

I dashed into the kitchen and in minutes
I'd buttered bread and sprinkled in sultanas.
I'd whipped up eggs and milk and poured them over
The bread, and then I put on my pyjamas.
(Forgive the odd forced rhyme.  It's nearly midnight.
But I was keen to tell about my pud.)
I scattered in some sugar and some nutmeg
And, Biblically, pronounced that 'It Was Good'.

Then half an hour later, we were scoffing
the bread and butter pudding of our dreams.
My light and fluffy bread and butter pudding -
much better than a hundred custard creams.
(Forgive the rubbish simile.  I chose it
because it rhymed with dreams.  You may have guessed.)
I'm now so full of bread and butter pudding
That I can hardly move, I must confess.

(Forgive the half-rhyme at the end.  I fear that eating a bowl of bread and butter pudding the height of Kilimanjaro may have blunted my capacity for writing effective poetry.)


32 comments:

  1. Well, first I admitted to you that I've never had custard, and now I must say I've never had bread and butter pudding; but if ever a poem made me long for it, yours is that poem.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You must find a recipe and make one immediately. It's one of those things you just have to do before you die. And custard goes very well with it, so you can kill two birds with one stone.

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  2. I wonder if in the annals of poetry anyone has ever celebrated a pudding before. Let's call you-- Foodsworth.

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    Replies
    1. If they haven't, and I'm the first, it's a sad, sad world.

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  3. Replies
    1. And the hips ...

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    2. Poetry is FATTENING ! How cruel .

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  4. I love it! I also love bread and butter pudding.

    But how did you manage to make one in just half an hour?

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    Replies
    1. I am a bionic pudding maker. Five minutes to get it in the bowl, 25 minutes in the oven - sorted. When it comes to making puddings, I'm a fast worker, because if I stop and think about it, I might decide it's not good for me ...

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  5. I'd like bread and butter pudding if it were just that. Bread and butter. I hate sultanas and raisins and currants. Fruit is bad.

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    Replies
    1. Please don't post those kinds of obscenities on my blog, Steve. I find them upsetting.

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  6. That is the single one thing I miss most about bread. Although you probably would got away with claiming that picture as your own had it not been for the fact I would have noticed immediately that the crockery was far too posh and the teatowel far too new-looking to have been taken in your kitchen...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One can always rely on a close relative for exposure and humiliation. You're just jealous, daughter, because my food blog posts rival your own .... Here she is, followers - look her up http://georgesdinner.blogspot.co.uk/

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  7. Love it. A fine example of an occasion when words actually desserted you.

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  8. Ooh I can almost taste it.....so I just have to make one today...thanks for that Fran...my arse/belly/hips combo thank you.

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    Replies
    1. Pleased to be of service to your arse/belly/hips.

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  9. That poem made me want a toffee yogurt.
    Anna May x

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    Replies
    1. A toffee yogurt over bread and butter pudding? Never!

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  10. Can you delete this post before my husband reads it, please? I kind of said I'd make him b and b pudding some days ago and don't seem to have got around to it yet... .

    Hilarious poem, and a pity to consign it to history, but you know - for the sake of my marriage...?

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    Replies
    1. Oops! Sorry! Published it! Such a butter-fingers!

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  11. Bread and butter fingers?

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  12. This is a tester comment. Polly showed me how. let's see if it works.

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    Replies
    1. You passed the test! A*!

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  13. Yay! I love your blog. Have been trying to say so for a while. The poem about bread and butter pud make me long for it again but mine always turns out hard and yucky. Perhaps you should post the recipe as well?

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    Replies
    1. Recipe? Recipe? I don't do recipes! I just chuck it all in and see if it looks right. Here's how I did it.

      Ingredients
      3-4 slices thickly buttered bread
      However much sugar looks like it'll make it nice and sweet
      about half a pint of milk or so
      2-3 eggs, depending on how 'eggy custard' you want it
      a few sultanas/raisins/whatever
      some nutmeg
      Butter the bread and cut into little squares, triangles or heart-shapes - whatever you fancy. Layer half of it in the dish butter side up.
      Sprinkle in the fruit and as much sugar as your conscience can stand - brown sugar's best
      Chuck in the rest of the bread and butter.
      Beat the eggs into the milk and pour over the bread etc.
      Sprinkle more sugar on top and some nutmeg. Squash it all down a bit so the milky eggy stuff soaks in.
      Shove in the oven towards the top for about half an hour or so at about Gas 5 or whatever that is in electric.
      Get it out and eat as much of it as you can - you haven't had enough until you cannot move out of your chair. Add cream or custard if you really want to reduce your chances of eternal salvation.

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  14. Mmmmm... pudding. Love the post title too - that should be the title of a poetry collection!

    (If you aren't happy with your half-rhyme in the last line, you could go with: "That I can hardly move. There - I've confessed!)

    Can we have seconds please?!!

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    Replies
    1. You're right about the title - that would actually sum up my material very well!

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  15. A homily to pudding. Nothing wrong with that. Now if you could only do one for jam sponge I'd be in heaven.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, how I love to lunge
      towards a big jam sponge.

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  16. Oh Yum! Can you write an ode to rhubarb crumble and custard - I could read it (Burns Night Style) as I downed the delight?

    Anna :o]

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