WHAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS BLOG

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Evidence that hedonism, laziness and procrastination come alarmingly easily to me

Two thoughts I have had today.

Thought 1: What a nice man that waiter is!

We went out to Strada in Leamington Spa tonight to celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary.  Old or what?   Tesco took us c/o some loyalty vouchers - we know how to do romance.  We did the 'shall we just have starters and mains and no pudding?' conversation and nodded wisely and agreed it was a sensible plan, and you all know how THAT story ends.  The pistachio icecream and tiramisu were delicious as was the bottle of wine we shared.

Then, a bonus.  We'd just asked for the bill and the waiter came back and asked if we'd like to try a free lemon and lime liqueur.  I leaped up and kissed him on the neck and all over his cute little waiter waistcoat in gratitude and despite this he still brought us the liqueur which was delicious.  We stumbled out of the restaurant happy and all liqueured-up and sank onto nearby benches in the high street where we were promptly arrested and accused of being homeless winos.  'Er, officer,' I said.  'What homeless winos do YOU know who smell of Gorgonzola cream sauce, garlic oil and citrus liqueur?'  He said I had a point and let us go.

PS  All the stuff about being arrested isn't true.  Oh, and the neck-kissing.

Thought 2: What fun it is, avoiding proper writing!

I was meant to be spending the day writing more of my novel.  Instead, I found these things to do:


  • wash up the breakfast things very slowly
  • plan excessively and in incredible detail for a lesson with a private pupil
  • eat left-overs from yesterday's Easter Monday tea including some of a Christmas pudding that got lost and found again two days ago
  • research 'how to plan your novel' advice on websites
  • research 'where to buy software to help you plan your novel'
  • watch Youtube videos demonstrating how to use the 'how to plan your novel' software
  • download 'help you plan your novel' software
  • spend two hours on the phone talking to friends
  • realise the day had gone and that I needed to get ready to go out and be fed liqueurs by nice waiters


PS  Every single thing I've said under 'Thought 2' is true.  And not even exaggerated.



Fran almost got to the 'clean the tile grouting' stage as a way of avoiding writing, but not quite ...


18 comments:

  1. I would have kissed the waiter. Yeah. Definitely. I'm old, but I'm still a slut. Happy Anniversary!

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I guess I could have said, 'Oh, sorry! I thought you said would I like to LICK yer!'

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  2. I thought that I could prevaricate (as the 181 item 'to-do' list will testify), but - strewth - you're good! I take my hat off to you.

    Oh! Speaking of hats, I keep meaning to get that hat out which I think I look cute in (but not to universal agreement) - I wonder if I still have it upstairs? I'm sure it's above the shoe rack which I really should sort out; and whilst I'm at it, the shoes could do with polishing...

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    1. When you get to polishing shoes, you know it's desperate.

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  3. Congratulations on that 31st wedding anniversary. And when the time is right for you to tackle your novel I seriously doubt anything will stop you.

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    1. Er. That's what I thought. I hear other writers saying how nothing can stop them and how they hate being distracted and how writing is their life-blood and how they would rather write than eat and I think: FRAN, YOU ARE NOT A PROPER WRITER. GIVE UP NOW!

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    2. you're not a PROPER writer, you're a writer. Write on!

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  4. My next novel is going to be about procrastination... but the research is taking forever.

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    1. Ha ha! That made me lol. (As in, laughing lolling, not lolling on the sofa lolling, although, now you mention it ...)

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  5. Thanks for bringing a smile to my lips and relief to my heart Fran, as ever...I am a normal writer with all the normal instincts for housework i.e. I don't do any unless I'm planning a writing day. Go for it oh grouter (the writing I mean) :) :) A great blog...

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  6. Thanks Fran for making me feel like a normal writer i.e. a person with a strong distaste for housework unless planning a writing day...Great blog :)

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    1. You do realise that leaving two very similar comments, SWH, is a true sign of someone who is trying to avoid their own writing .... or maybe their housework ...

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  7. I avoid most things by reading other Blogs !

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  8. I read blog posts so as not to return to my blastard novel and now you have gone and reminded me about it. Curse.

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    1. Your novel novel novel novel novel novel novel, Alan. Don't forget your novel novel novel novel ...... (I think the word 'blastard' is brilliant. I may use it at parties.)

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  9. So you're just the same as the rest of us, Fran. And you don't need to plan your novel. Just write it!

    Btw how do you lose a Christmas pudding?

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    1. Don't need to plan? Is that a promise?!
      We lost the pudding by buying it in a sale in January and forgetting it was buried away in our pantry where we found it the other day. It was such a treat - like finding a five pound note in your pocket. (But with more calories ...)

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