Evidence that I have had at least 7 thoughts today

Things I have thought today:

1. Why did I ask the lady whose house I was in for a writers' meeting if she would 'kindly direct me to her facility' rather than just asking where the toilet was?  Since when did I get so euphemistic about my bladder?

2. When a very old lady staggers onto the bus, shuffles down the aisle and plumps down next to you with an audible 'Phew' of relief, what's the best way of saying, 'Excuse me, please.  Could you get up again and let me through?   I need to get off at the next stop.'?

3. Why have I never realised how grim Grimm's Fairy Tales were?  I'm reading them at the moment.  Were these written for CHILDREN?

4. The first Pimms of the year, even if you don't have any lemon, any cucumber, or any ice to put into it, and even if the sun went in just as you were mixing the drink, is still a wondrous thing.

5. I get very, very excited about being on a new bus.  The G1 is my regular bus, and sometimes I go on the X17.  Today, I went on the 68 to Lillington (where the lady's house was with the 'facility') and had to write it on Facebook as my status.  Someone replied, 'Easily pleased.'  With good justification, no doubt.

6. When I am sitting in a room with seven other people, and someone says the word 'solipsistic', I find it difficult to know what to do with my face.  I need to practise, in front of the mirror, a new 'I have no idea what that means but want to give the impression that I use the word three times a day in my own casual conversations' look.

7. Paperchase's mechanical pencils only work if you are not writing anything you feel cross about.  A romance, fine.  A piece of comic fiction, fine.  A rant.  SNAP!

8. I like to end lists on an even number, but have run out of things to say.  Be grateful.  Be very grateful.



One of Fran's readers only got to point 2 before lapsing into a comatose state at the keyboard

PS  Talking about tidy numbers, I need one more follower to make it 300.....


Comments

  1. Martin27/4/13 13:05

    I may have had seven thoughts today, or was it five? Or am I thinking about recommended portions of fruit and veg?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill27/4/13 15:33

      If you've had seven recommended portions of fruit and veg today, you can have a ball tomorrow with the cream and butter.

      Delete
  2. Diana Studer27/4/13 14:02

    I don't like following - but I'll be your invisible 300th. I read your posts. Will you count that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill27/4/13 15:33

      Yup. Invisible still counts. Thank you!

      Delete
  3. Nearly Martha27/4/13 14:06

    Vair thoughtful day. Grimm's Fairy Tales are horrific!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill27/4/13 15:34

      Quite, quite sinister, some of them. But good, all the same.

      Delete
  4. Linens and Royals27/4/13 14:29

    Pimms is a seasonal drink? I didn't know that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill27/4/13 15:34

      Ha ha! You've been quaffing all winter, then? You can get a Winter Pimms actually.

      Delete
  5. #1Nana27/4/13 15:10

    300! You're a rock star,

    ReplyDelete
  6. Frances Garrood27/4/13 15:55

    I always thought they should be called Grim Scary Tales. No one under 21 should go near them.

    It's still FAR too cold for Pimms. This is whiskey mac weather!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill28/4/13 00:51

      Far too cold for Pimms? Just put a woolly jumper on and go ahead.

      Delete
  7. Pam 27/4/13 16:18

    I was brought up on Grimm and Hans Anderson. No wonder I'm of a nervous disposition. ("The facility"??? Try being Scottish next time and say "Whaur's the cludgie?" Then they'll really know you're refined.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill28/4/13 00:52

      They're a bit like Victorian moral tales, aren't they? You know, this is what happens to little children who don't eat their rice pudding... you get sent into a forest and chopped up into bits by a woman who lives in a house made of sweets. That kind of thing.

      Delete
  8. stephen Hayes27/4/13 16:33

    You've been very thoughtful today. I'd love to push you over 300 but I'm already following.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Janie Junebug27/4/13 17:11

    Perhaps I could follow a second time and be #300. Hansel and Gretel is terrifying. I like to ask people, Where in the hell is your bathroom? I need to piss. I see no need for delicacy.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  10. Steve28/4/13 01:07

    I think if I asked a lady to direct me to her facility I might find myself on the wrong end of an arrest warrant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill28/4/13 09:14

      Ha ha! Try it, do. And let us know.

      Delete
  11. Vintage Tea Time28/4/13 01:11

    1. Did you curtsey deferentially as you asked this?
    2. 'Excuse me, I need to use a facility - could I trouble you please.............otherwise I might wee on you'
    3. Children are tougher than you think - they watch Dr Who, for god's sake
    4. No lemon, no cucumber? - you must keep up your 5 a day - and at least one ice cube for water intake.
    5. Status - so you're not married or single - you're on a bus.....hm
    6. Imagining your face as someone says solipsistic (wtf?) - close your mouth please
    7. So they snap if you rant. Do they laugh at comic fiction, and act coy at romance? I'm imagining an animated mechanical pencil - less Pimms at breakfast, I know...
    8. You could have posted a gratuitous pic of grandchild, or some crochet you've just finished, or a cake you've just baked.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill28/4/13 09:15

      Stop writing comments that are funnier than my post.

      Delete
    2. Pam 29/4/13 07:34

      Gosh, I read VTT's comment as saying "You could have posted a gratuitous pie of grandchild". Aaaargh. Must use reading specs more.

      Delete
    3. Fran Hill29/4/13 11:15

      Ha ha! Grandchild pie! I feel a post coming on (which I absolutely DAREN'T write).

      Delete
  12. broken biro28/4/13 02:55

    Classic post, Fran! (But then I'm 'easily pleased' too - the best way to be, don't you think, is to enjoy the little pleasures?)

    If anyone says 'solipsistic' to me I'll punch them in the face. Having just looked it up, if it was true it wouldn't matter if I did it because they wouldn't really exist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill28/4/13 09:15

      Solipsistic. Solipsistic. Solipsistic. Go on, then. Take me on.

      Delete
  13. Friko28/4/13 13:25

    I just looked up solipsistic. So you don’t really exist then, do you?

    But I did know ‘comatose’ from bitter experience. Been there, been that . . . .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill29/4/13 02:37

      This is what I'm here for, to drive people to the dictionary. I can't get them to do it at school, so this is my only chance.

      Delete
  14. Wendy's Writing29/4/13 01:03

    I think I am now officially your 300th follower! Would you like to be my 61st! Found your blog through lovely Frances Garood's blog - glad we share the same views about the new Sue Townsend book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill29/4/13 02:43

      Thanks, Wendy! Have reciprocated! Ha - funny how Sue Townsend's less-effective-than-usual book has brought us together. Not everyone agrees with us, though; some of the reviews on Amazon say how fabulous it is. Taste ... it's a funny thing.

      Delete
    2. Sarah Hill29/4/13 09:28

      Well I really enjoyed the Sue Townsend book - I read it after the author of this blog had given up after the first chapter. I admit it took a while to get into, and wasn't as laugh-out-loud funny as some of her other stuff - but actually I couldn't put it down. And I'm an offspring, so I must be right...

      Delete
    3. Fran Hill29/4/13 11:16

      Well, at least it was worth the £8.99 in the end, then, if you got a laugh out of it.

      Delete
  15. Frances29/4/13 01:08

    I was going to oblige and sign up to be a follower , but I see you have your 300, and don't want to make you cross by being No. 301 ! Great post as always. You are on my bookmarks bar anyway, so I never miss you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill29/4/13 02:45

      Ooh, on someone's 'bookmarks bar'. That makes me feel very important! Thanks, Frances.

      Delete
  16. Sarah Hill29/4/13 09:29

    I have just made the rather large elderly man next to me on the train wonder why I was sniggering!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill29/4/13 11:55

      Did you say to him, 'It's my Mum's blog. She needs a publisher. Are you a publisher by any chance?'

      Delete
  17. BadPenny1/5/13 00:59

    I had my first Pimms on Saturday - lovely.

    If I don't know a big word these days I just say, " I don't know what that means " I used to pretend I knew.

    I don't know what Solipsistic means.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill1/5/13 14:10

      All I know is, it rhymes with lipstick and one day I intend to get it into a poem.

      Delete
  18. Anna May3/5/13 11:32

    So what goes into Winter Pimms? Root veg?

    Anna May x

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anna May3/5/13 11:33

    Fran, so what goes into Winter Pimms instead of cucumber and mint? Root veg?

    Anna May

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill3/5/13 14:07

      Yes, plus a mince pie, some sausage stuffing and a scented candle. And don't forget the lemon slice- it makes all the difference.

      Delete

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