WHAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS BLOG

Saturday, 27 April 2013

Evidence that I have had at least 7 thoughts today

Things I have thought today:

1. Why did I ask the lady whose house I was in for a writers' meeting if she would 'kindly direct me to her facility' rather than just asking where the toilet was?  Since when did I get so euphemistic about my bladder?

2. When a very old lady staggers onto the bus, shuffles down the aisle and plumps down next to you with an audible 'Phew' of relief, what's the best way of saying, 'Excuse me, please.  Could you get up again and let me through?   I need to get off at the next stop.'?

3. Why have I never realised how grim Grimm's Fairy Tales were?  I'm reading them at the moment.  Were these written for CHILDREN?

4. The first Pimms of the year, even if you don't have any lemon, any cucumber, or any ice to put into it, and even if the sun went in just as you were mixing the drink, is still a wondrous thing.

5. I get very, very excited about being on a new bus.  The G1 is my regular bus, and sometimes I go on the X17.  Today, I went on the 68 to Lillington (where the lady's house was with the 'facility') and had to write it on Facebook as my status.  Someone replied, 'Easily pleased.'  With good justification, no doubt.

6. When I am sitting in a room with seven other people, and someone says the word 'solipsistic', I find it difficult to know what to do with my face.  I need to practise, in front of the mirror, a new 'I have no idea what that means but want to give the impression that I use the word three times a day in my own casual conversations' look.

7. Paperchase's mechanical pencils only work if you are not writing anything you feel cross about.  A romance, fine.  A piece of comic fiction, fine.  A rant.  SNAP!

8. I like to end lists on an even number, but have run out of things to say.  Be grateful.  Be very grateful.



One of Fran's readers only got to point 2 before lapsing into a comatose state at the keyboard

PS  Talking about tidy numbers, I need one more follower to make it 300.....


41 comments:

  1. I may have had seven thoughts today, or was it five? Or am I thinking about recommended portions of fruit and veg?

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    1. If you've had seven recommended portions of fruit and veg today, you can have a ball tomorrow with the cream and butter.

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  2. I don't like following - but I'll be your invisible 300th. I read your posts. Will you count that?

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    1. Yup. Invisible still counts. Thank you!

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  3. Vair thoughtful day. Grimm's Fairy Tales are horrific!

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    1. Quite, quite sinister, some of them. But good, all the same.

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  4. Pimms is a seasonal drink? I didn't know that.

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    1. Ha ha! You've been quaffing all winter, then? You can get a Winter Pimms actually.

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  5. 300! You're a rock star,

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    1. In my dreams, Nana, in my dreams.

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  6. I always thought they should be called Grim Scary Tales. No one under 21 should go near them.

    It's still FAR too cold for Pimms. This is whiskey mac weather!

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    1. Far too cold for Pimms? Just put a woolly jumper on and go ahead.

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  7. I was brought up on Grimm and Hans Anderson. No wonder I'm of a nervous disposition. ("The facility"??? Try being Scottish next time and say "Whaur's the cludgie?" Then they'll really know you're refined.)

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    1. They're a bit like Victorian moral tales, aren't they? You know, this is what happens to little children who don't eat their rice pudding... you get sent into a forest and chopped up into bits by a woman who lives in a house made of sweets. That kind of thing.

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  8. You've been very thoughtful today. I'd love to push you over 300 but I'm already following.

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    1. And it's greatly appreciated!

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  9. Perhaps I could follow a second time and be #300. Hansel and Gretel is terrifying. I like to ask people, Where in the hell is your bathroom? I need to piss. I see no need for delicacy.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Do you still get invited places?

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  10. I think if I asked a lady to direct me to her facility I might find myself on the wrong end of an arrest warrant.

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    1. Ha ha! Try it, do. And let us know.

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  11. 1. Did you curtsey deferentially as you asked this?
    2. 'Excuse me, I need to use a facility - could I trouble you please.............otherwise I might wee on you'
    3. Children are tougher than you think - they watch Dr Who, for god's sake
    4. No lemon, no cucumber? - you must keep up your 5 a day - and at least one ice cube for water intake.
    5. Status - so you're not married or single - you're on a bus.....hm
    6. Imagining your face as someone says solipsistic (wtf?) - close your mouth please
    7. So they snap if you rant. Do they laugh at comic fiction, and act coy at romance? I'm imagining an animated mechanical pencil - less Pimms at breakfast, I know...
    8. You could have posted a gratuitous pic of grandchild, or some crochet you've just finished, or a cake you've just baked.....

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    1. Stop writing comments that are funnier than my post.

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    2. Gosh, I read VTT's comment as saying "You could have posted a gratuitous pie of grandchild". Aaaargh. Must use reading specs more.

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    3. Ha ha! Grandchild pie! I feel a post coming on (which I absolutely DAREN'T write).

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  12. Classic post, Fran! (But then I'm 'easily pleased' too - the best way to be, don't you think, is to enjoy the little pleasures?)

    If anyone says 'solipsistic' to me I'll punch them in the face. Having just looked it up, if it was true it wouldn't matter if I did it because they wouldn't really exist.

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    1. Solipsistic. Solipsistic. Solipsistic. Go on, then. Take me on.

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  13. I just looked up solipsistic. So you don’t really exist then, do you?

    But I did know ‘comatose’ from bitter experience. Been there, been that . . . .

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    1. This is what I'm here for, to drive people to the dictionary. I can't get them to do it at school, so this is my only chance.

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  14. I think I am now officially your 300th follower! Would you like to be my 61st! Found your blog through lovely Frances Garood's blog - glad we share the same views about the new Sue Townsend book.

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    1. Thanks, Wendy! Have reciprocated! Ha - funny how Sue Townsend's less-effective-than-usual book has brought us together. Not everyone agrees with us, though; some of the reviews on Amazon say how fabulous it is. Taste ... it's a funny thing.

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    2. Well I really enjoyed the Sue Townsend book - I read it after the author of this blog had given up after the first chapter. I admit it took a while to get into, and wasn't as laugh-out-loud funny as some of her other stuff - but actually I couldn't put it down. And I'm an offspring, so I must be right...

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    3. Well, at least it was worth the £8.99 in the end, then, if you got a laugh out of it.

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  15. I was going to oblige and sign up to be a follower , but I see you have your 300, and don't want to make you cross by being No. 301 ! Great post as always. You are on my bookmarks bar anyway, so I never miss you!

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    1. Ooh, on someone's 'bookmarks bar'. That makes me feel very important! Thanks, Frances.

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  16. I have just made the rather large elderly man next to me on the train wonder why I was sniggering!

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    1. Did you say to him, 'It's my Mum's blog. She needs a publisher. Are you a publisher by any chance?'

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  17. I had my first Pimms on Saturday - lovely.

    If I don't know a big word these days I just say, " I don't know what that means " I used to pretend I knew.

    I don't know what Solipsistic means.

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    1. All I know is, it rhymes with lipstick and one day I intend to get it into a poem.

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  18. So what goes into Winter Pimms? Root veg?

    Anna May x

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  19. Fran, so what goes into Winter Pimms instead of cucumber and mint? Root veg?

    Anna May

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    1. Yes, plus a mince pie, some sausage stuffing and a scented candle. And don't forget the lemon slice- it makes all the difference.

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