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Monday, 15 April 2013

Reasons to avoid alleys in Tenby

So, it's Leonhard Euler's 306th birthday, is it?  This is what Google is telling me when I go onto its Search page.  He's today's Google Doodle.

What I REALLY want to know is, how many people say, 'Oh yes, Euler!  I was only thinking about his amazing work in the fields of mechanics, optics and astronomy just yesterday!   306th?  No, surely he wouldn't be a day over 285!'

While we're on useless pieces of information, I thought I'd better tell you about the scaffolding near Tesco which I mentioned in yesterday's dose of triviality 

We went to Tenby in Wales at Easter and took my daughter Sarah and her partner John.  By the way, Sarah was on Masterchef last week.  You can catch the episode on iplayer right here for a few more days.  She didn't get through to the next round, but she proved she knows what a proper fish chowder is, and how many of us can claim that?  I, for one, can do cod, haddock and the odd prawn, but I'd be stumped to have to use a proper-fish.

Tesco was very near our holiday cottage -  just across-the-road-and-through-an-alley so it only took 3 minutes to get there to stock up on key ingredients for our evening meal and for our nightly Scrabble session: meat, potatoes, vegetables, wine, liquorice allsorts, Revels, fudge, Galaxy, Ferrero Rocher, chocolate-coated peanuts, etc.  All the essentials.

However, there was building work going on in the alley and they'd put up scaffolding which virtually blocked it.  It took some nifty moves for us to navigate it and not dislodge the scaffolding with our hips.  It reminded me of this game.



Sarah and I decided on the Saturday of our holiday that, if by the end of the week we weren't able to get through the scaffolding, we'd know that stuffing ourselves to perdition with Liquorice Allsorts and fudge while playing Scrabble had not been the wisest move.

Don't tell her this, but I wore thinner clothes on Thursday and Friday for our trips to Tesco.  I learned all these tricks attending Weightwatchers for years.  Wear thin clothes.  Take out the earrings.  Don't wear a pair of pants over your tights to keep them up.  Wear the bra without the wires in.  If you're booked in for a filling that day at the dentist, reorganise for the following week.  Cut your nails.

I'm so glad I made it through the alley all week. There's nothing so shaming as being tugged from between scaffolding by three hunky firemen.  You can bat your eyelashes all you like, but it's not going to be the thing they notice, is it?  

Now, if I'd taken old Leonard Euler to Tenby instead of Sarah, I reckon he'd have been able to calculate for me whether I could get through the scaffolding without embarrassment.

Never claim that I don't provide you with clear links between each post's apparently-random themes.


21 comments:

  1. Thanks for clearing that up, you skinny thing, you!!

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  2. *bitter laughter and reaches for Maltesers*

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  3. Don't Buzz That Wire appears to be some sort of let's avoid electrocution game. So the scaffolding wasn't for a public hanging. It was for an electrocution. I'm so glad I understand now. I'm also on very close terms with Euler, old buddy old pal of mine.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I'm glad we've got that one straight. Give my love to Euler. Love the fact that his name rhymes with Ruler.

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    2. You need to write a poem about him. He'd love it.

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  4. Was the scaffolding holding the alley up?

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    1. What, you mean, as well as holding US up?

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  5. No, I'd never heard of Leonard either.

    The question is: did Sarah do all the cooking on holiday and if not, why not?

    Elijah is very very cute!

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    1. She certainly did do all the cooking. It was like living in a restaurant for a week. Her lamb hotpot is to die for and she did some very clever things with local fish. (As in, cooked with them, not doing algebra and stuff.)

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    2. Would she like to come on holiday with us and do all the cooking?

      I could just about cope with algebra. It was calculus that tested my brain more. Especially - why were we doing it?

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    3. I am willing to hire her out at the reasonable fee, just for you, of £300 per hour.

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    4. It's very tempting. Let me just see how much is in my purse.

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    5. Hi Isabelle. I would love to come and cook for you. I just want to know how much of this £300 cut I get.....! (Erm, thanks Mum).

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  6. I'd love to taste her lamb pot pie.

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    1. Well, put it this way, she made enough for an army platoon but it only took 6 of us to polish the whole lot off.

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  7. You. Let. Your. Daughter. Cook. For. Her Own. Wedding...

    Fran! How COULD you!

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    1. I get no choice about these things, believe me. I just bought the dress.

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    2. It's true, I have to say. Not her fault.

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  8. Getting wedged* in alleyways in strange towns might be be glossed over as a temporary blip ... a sort of Sat Nav moment . Getting immovably stuck in one's own town might be less easy to explain away .

    I can't play the catch-up Masterchef programmes sadly ....wrong country , wrong computer or something .... but I've greatly enjoyed all her blog entries and do know just how she loves good food !
    *I keep on typing wodged instead . Much better , I feel .

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