Evidence that, when on holiday, Fran takes photos of really important things




I am on holiday in Malvern, Worcestershire.  Come along with me to see the sights.  Be warned, though.  I can't promise that any of them are in the 'Things you Must See' official brochures.  But who wants to see pictures of abbeys and ancient wells when you can see pictures of kitchenware and monster lamps instead?


The Holiday Cottage wins the 'Tidiest Kitchen Drawers in the World' Award 2013



And the 'Most Symmetrically Organised Kitchen Cupboards in the World' Award, too.
SUCH a shame to have to spoil the arrangement in order to pour wine, but
SOMEone has to do it.





On a different note, there's a Monster Lamp which hangs, like a threat, in the middle
of the living room.  It is seriously scary.  Stephen King should write about it.







Here it is again, shown in proportion next to a human hand, which it was
just about to eat, before my husband whipped it away and denied the Monster
Lamp its evil desire.


But even Monster Lamps in one's holiday cottage living room can be forgiven
when this is what awaits you in the fridge on arrival at the house....



This Book of Britain's Walks which was on the coffee table has been so helpful.  I've been using it to
rest my laptop on so I can write while my husband goes up hills.  (There's a lot
of 'up' in Malvern.  I'm not entirely comfortable with it.)





And this is something I saw when I was eventually persuaded to get off my butt
and walk into the town.  It was worth it just for this.



           And that was just the first day!  Imagine what excitements are in store!                                  



Comments

  1. Charlotte23/8/13 11:48

    Hmm it would appear the lamp ate your husband's head just before he put up his hand to ward it off. Watch out Malvern there is a killer standard lamp on the loose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill23/8/13 12:12

      I'm telling you, that lamp is anything but standard.

      Delete
  2. Steve23/8/13 11:54

    That lamp wasn't bought second-hand from Guantanamo Bay was it? What are the shower facilities like?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill24/8/13 00:56

      That made me laugh. Though it shouldn't have.

      Delete
  3. Frances Garrood23/8/13 13:30

    Oh, PLEASE tell us more about the poodle's nose! Did you buy the paper?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill24/8/13 00:56

      I've found the link to the article on the paper's website. I feel bad now ... http://www.malverngazette.co.uk/news/10573605.Poodle___s_nose_keeps_me_from_killer_food/

      Delete
  4. Hazel23/8/13 16:40

    It appears that the resolution of my monitor is not what it might be - after thinking the Monster Lamp had decapitated your husband, I thought it had brought you a gift of a pair of rather flushed breasts.

    I'll get me specs...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill24/8/13 00:57

      I think you should get the IT man in.

      Delete
  5. Anonymous23/8/13 16:58

    Living life on the edge, you danger loving thing, you!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous23/8/13 16:59

    PS--Love your new profile picture!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Janie Junebug23/8/13 17:04

    What happened with the poodle's nose? I must know! The kitchen drawer and cabinet would make my OCD so happy.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill24/8/13 01:38

      I've put the link under Frances' comment, Janie.

      I am having to be more OCD-like this week than I've ever been, putting the glasses and cutlery back in the drawers SO carefully to keep the pattern intact.

      Delete
  8. stephen Hayes23/8/13 18:52

    Can't wait to read more of your adventures in this colorful spot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill24/8/13 01:39

      Who needs people climbing Everest in sandals? Going to Mars for a weekend break? You have ME!

      Delete
  9. BadPenny24/8/13 01:12

    Kitchen cupboards in holiday lets always make me smile.... only the basics needed; corkscrew, wineglass...

    That lamp does look like it might come alive at any moment, does it double up as a hair dryer ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill24/8/13 01:41

      I hate to think WHAT it would do to my hair if I got anywhere near it, BP. It exudes bad intentions.

      Delete
  10. Marty24/8/13 05:13

    I worry a little for you at that cottage - are there hospital corners on the beds? Sudden inspections? Who could possibly go hiking when there is so much to be kept in order?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill26/8/13 01:09

      That's just what I've said to my husband. 'You go walking, dear. I'll stay here and keep an eye on the kitchen utensils.'

      Delete
  11. Pam 25/8/13 16:45

    I would think it very mean of you to blog about holidays if I were still teaching, because Scottish schools have been back for over a week. But then... I'm retired, so it doesn't bother me. You may relax with a clear conscience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill26/8/13 01:10

      You will notice a change in the tone of the blog from next week onwards ....!

      Delete
  12. River6/1/14 01:23

    My kitchen cupboards and drawers are just as neat, the only difference is I have more stuff.
    I love that lamp!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill6/1/14 01:28

      I learned to love it, but then, I didn't want to offend it in case of retribution.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Image
My try-to-get-fitter walk in the fields today was a silent one. I usually listen to the radio through earphones but have lost one of the soft earbuds and nothing spoils a walk more than having hard plastic nudging up against your fragile tympanic membrane. The BBC's  'Woman's Hour' is a brilliant programme but loyalty has limits.  It was disconcerting, walking in silence. Listening to radio distracts from the disturbing reality that my legs are propelling me in forward motion because, if I think too hard about this, I frighten myself.  Today, while walking, I had to listen to my own thoughts.  And now I've listened to my own thoughts, I remember why I like radio better. The inside of my head is like a wastepaper basket.   Be grateful that I only offer you a brief excerpt.  Oh, look, that bird is - / Where did I put that mark scheme. I'll need it for - / My shoes are getting muddier./ Maybe mash with the fish tonight / really muddy / The trees are defin...
Read more

More evidence that the wrong consonant makes all the difference to a famous book title

Image
More typo-lit, one of my favourite genres: To Kilt a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a young family move into the area from Aberdeen.  The children are found dressing the local wildlife in tartan and have to be taught that clothing innocent victims in bright material is not acceptable.  The little girl (Scot) says, 'Shoot, Pa, that's the darndest thing I ever did hear!' and there is surprise all round at her adoption of the local dialect in such a short time. To Kiln a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father teaches his children that to put an innocent bird into a red-hot oven, converting it into an attractive china piece for the kitchen, was bound to upset Aunt Alexandra when given as a birthday present, and if this was indeed their intention, they deserved a whipping.   They don't get the whipping; the father can't stand Aunt Alexandra either. To Bill a Mockingbird - a tale set ...
Read more

Reasons why Fran can get a 90,000 word novel down to a haiku if she's paid enough

Image
My first published story was in ‘Your Cat’ magazine.  (Don’t laugh … we all have to start somewhere.)  I sent the editor a 1500-word story.  She said she liked it (great!) and would publish it (fantastic!) but that I should cut it by a third and tighten up my style.  Ah.  Not so good. I loved every word of that story.  I gave birth to each one in pain and suffering, so there was NO WAY, absolutely NO WAY I was going to cut or change them.  I was determined.  I would stick to my guns.  She could forget it.  My mind was made up. Then she said she’d pay me £200 if I did the alterations.  I wavered for a whole nano-second.  U-turn Queen, that’s me, when it comes to hard cash. The editing of that heart-warming story about a couple who rediscover their love when their cat has a crisis (it was a real sick-bucket saga) taught me loads.  I hated making the changes.  I felt like a murderer, slashing and s...
Read more