Only one of the incidents was intentional, and that wasn't the one that happened yesterday, when I innocently informed a class of sixth formers that 'I once won a typing competition on speed.' They dissolved into laughter, leaving me as red as Karl Marx.
If you're a friend of mine on Facebook, you'll already have heard that story. If you follow me on Twitter too you'll have heard it twice. If you follow me down the street, you'll perhaps do what an old lady did in my Granny's care home the other day and comment loudly on the size of my bottom. As Miranda Hart would say ....
|(Fran was pleased to find this picture at last, especially as googling 'Rude' had|
resulted in some images she hadn't expected.)
Anyway, back to my sixth form class, which has a slightly more supportive atmosphere than the care home, but not much. I tried to turn the mega-gaffe into a pedagogical opportunity by pointing out to the students that if I had used a different preposition (with, instead of on) it would have made all the difference to the meaning, but, strangely, they weren't listening. They were too busy enjoying my discomfort, guffawing like hyenas at a Michael McIntyre gig. Ah well. Pride comes before an Epic Fail.
Then, today, after overhearing someone at work talking about various prescription drugs, I found myself musing on the nature of some of their names, such as ....
Tramadol - a narcotic-like pain reliever
Panadol - another pain reliever
Carisoprodol - a muscle relaxant
Haloperidol - a tranquilliser
I had great fun thinking, along with another colleague, of some others.
Barbiedol - a pink tablet for women who want to develop the kind of body that means you fall over if you lean forward just a little too much
Livin'dol - medication for those who still go to Cliff Richard concerts and need urgent help to conquer this
Chinadol - a tranquilliser for those taking a long flight to the Far East and need to ignore crying babies and other people being sick
Russiandol - a tablet within a tablet within a tablet [my colleague's idea]
Babydol - a suppressant for middle-aged men who buy motorbikes and take a sudden liking to 22 year olds
Paperdol - a medicine for people addicted to cutting out strings of little people from white paper
Guysanddol - a tranquilliser for those disappointed after a visit to a Broadway musical in which all the female characters but one weren't able to perform
Can you think of any others? I need to stock my medicine cabinet ready for any kind of emergency.