Evidence that Fran may be better off going bare-necked
I have tried the scarf thing and have a selection of them. But, whatever I do, and however I wrap them or arrange them, I end up looking as though I've been attacked by a patterned carpet and forcibly smothered.
For illustrative purposes, and to show you what I look like in a scarf, I am going to Google 'attacked by a carpet' and see what I find. I cannot resist. Back in a moment.
Hm. Not many actual images of people being attacked by carpets at that very moment. Life is so unfair. But I did find this. Seems a little harsh on the lady with the hair.
And then there's this one, which is a kind of 'prequel' picture, being the moment before the actual attack. But it really looks as though it's about to get nasty. Look at the way the camera angle has given the carpet the attention here, in a manner of foreboding familiar to fans of Hitchcarpet and Quentin Tarugtino movies.
And this is Kim Karpetdashian. A few of you may not have heard that she has been given a leading role in a movie called 'The Texas Stanley Knife Massacre'. Here is the opening shot, just before the carpet, newly cut, leaps at her.
Anyway, what I'm really here to tell you is that a friend sent me a link to a video on Youtube which is called '25 ways to wear a scarf in 4.5 minutes'. As I said to her, I could see several problems with trying to do this, including:
a) wouldn't people laugh if you wore your scarf 25 different ways in 4.5 minutes?
b) how would you drink your coffee/gin and tonic/medication?
c) wouldn't you get scarf burn?
But then I watched the video, and it's the funniest 4.5 minutes I've had today, even though I've done the following things:
a) read a P G Wodehouse story called 'The Custody of the Pumpkin'
b) studied parts of an Oscar Wilde play called 'The Importance of Being Earnest'
c) looked in the mirror by accident when I only had my socks on
Please watch it, and ask yourself, as I did, the following questions:
a) Can one wrap a scarf around one's neck in the 'Boa' style and still feel safe?
b) Are there links between the ancient art of Origami and contemporary scarf-wearing no one has yet discerned?
c) Is it just a coincidence, or do many of these styles make her look as though she's been attacked by a carpet?
Here's the link to the video.
Evidence that Fran may be better off going bare-necked anyway