Friday, 30 May 2014

Evidence that the stream of consciousness method of writing is alive and well in Leamington Spa

I never thought I'd be the type to watch videos/read news items featuring cats.   But, as with many of my principles, that one's gone to the *realises using dog metaphor will sound odd in a sentence about cats* place where all the others have gone.


1. I have watched the cat who plays Jenga with its owner

2. I have read a news item about paintings made better with cats

3. I have -

No.  I was going to make a list from 1 to 10, but I am already wondering whether this post was a good idea at all.

Let's talk about something else.

Someone bought me this chocolate Scrabble board game.

You can only play it once, because when you've played, and eaten the chocolates, that's it.  I don't think you can get replacement chocolates for it.  My question is: on a scale of 1-10, how immoral would it be if, too lazy to play the game, I just opened the box and ate the chocolates?  How good an excuse would I need?

Talking of excuses, I was shocked once when I asked a group of very respectable students how many of them would tell me their printer was broken when it wasn't, just so they could get an extension on a piece of homework.  90% of them said they would.

'It wouldn't be a proper lie,' they said.

'What's a proper lie?' I asked them.  This was in a General Studies lesson and we were discussing ethics and morals.

'A proper lie is, like, my dog ate the homework.  Except that no one believes that, so we have to use the printer one.'

'But now you've told me 90% of you would tell the printer lie, I'm never going to believe that one either.'

'Ah,' they said.  'That's awkward.'

'It's like that Hilaire Belloc poem about Matilda who kept hanging out of her window to say the house was on fire when it wasn't.  The one time she told the truth, no one listened, and she burned alive.'

'That's a bit harsh, Miss.  Aren't you taking this a little too personally?'

'Just don't say I didn't warn you,' I said.

Talking about dogs, I'm reading a book called 'Travels with Charley' by John Steinbeck, which is about his decision to travel in a camper truck all around America with his dog.  I wasn't expecting it to be funny, but it is.  You should try it.  Reading the book, I mean.  Not travelling in a camper truck all around America, although don't let me be the one to stop you following your dreams.  Just remember, when your spouse realises you're not home for dinner and your coat isn't hanging in the hall as usual, and they check the bank balance to find you've spent half the bank account on fuel, don't put the blame on me.  I just mentioned a book, that was all.

Talking about spouses, if the plural of mouse is mice, why isn't the plural of spouses spice?  Is it because the conversation of polygamists would be too easily misunderstood?











24 comments:

  1. You don't need any excuse to eat the chocolate. I grant you permission to eat the chocolate, and I order you to feel no guilt. I saw a cool cat video this week. A little boy was riding his tricycle when he was attacked by a dog. The fairly good-sized dog was dragging him away by the leg when the family cat flew at the dog and it ran off. The cat then shook her head as if she were thinking, Well, I hope I don't have to do that again today, but if I'm needed, I must answer the call. Such is the life of a cat.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Ah, yes, I saw that one, too. That was going to be Number 3 before I lost heart and worried about losing followers. I love the way you see inside the mind of that cat. I think you are absolutely right. What a hero.

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    2. fairly concerned about the Dad who jsut kept on fliming as his toddler was being dragged away though... Maybe he knew the cat had it covered..

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    3. Ha ha! I always forget that ... that there's someone behind the camera who ought to be responding to the situation!

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    4. just saying - was a security camera. I still wonder if the little boy was in the habit of teasing the dog ...

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    5. just saying - was a security camera. I still wonder if the little boy was in the habit of teasing the dog ...

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    6. Ah, was it, Diana? I'm glad to hear it was that and not a callous father!

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  2. I thought the plural of spouse WAS spice!

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    1. You made me so insecure there so I looked it up. It's spouses. I'm still insecure, but just not for that reason.

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  3. I no longer have homework, but I have lied and told people my printer is out of ink when they ask to use it.

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  4. I'm seeing The Spice Girls and spice traders in a new light.

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  5. I thought this was going to be a post about cats. Then it was chocolates, printers and a travelling dog. Disappointed again....

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    1. I apologise. But I hope you checked out the paintings made better with cats link if you hadn't already seen it. I think that would be right up your street.

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  6. Eat the chocolate.

    As for the 90%, how do you know THEY were telling the truth?

    And I suppose the pleural of house should be hice

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    1. I think the Queen says 'house' as 'hice' anyway, when she only means one, so that all adds to the general confusion.

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  7. "Travels with Charley" a book which I read over 25 years ago. Thank you for reminding me of it, also scrabble has recently come back into my life as quite a lot of students at my school have started playing it at lunchtime. It is actually quite fun watching them.

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    1. Hi - thanks for visiting! I've just finished the book and I really enjoyed it. It gave me another insight into Steinbeck whose 'Of Mice and Men' I've often taught (although looking at the educational news, perhaps not for much longer ....)

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  8. I played chocolate Roulette once... and yes... I got the chilly stuffed one.

    Etched in my memory; first year Geography homework; to cut out THE WORLD & stick it on a tennis ball. I did it & stuffed it into school bag. My world around a tennis ball fell out of my bag which I explained to my teacher.... I could read his expression.
    I always wondered; WHO didn't do their homework / found my world stuck onto a tennis ball and got a bloody house point ???

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    1. These things leave scars. Big scars.

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  9. That read was perfect for the mood I'm in I.e. Not able to concentrate on any one thing for long. Thank you for your pontifications which always bring a smile to my face and send me off to sleep on a good mood :)

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    1. I think pontification is probably too grand a word for that collection of ramblings, but I'm pleased it suited your mood!

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  10. I always wonder why, since we have "lengthy" as well as "long", we don't have "strengthy" as well as "strong". And what would be the subtle difference between the two, if we did? Would "strengthy" mean somewhat tediously strong?

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