Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Evidence that it's never too late to give old songs new life

Tonight I busied myself finding out what happens if you type one letter wrong in a Beatles song.  Voila! A nature theme emerges!

What do you mean, have I nothing useful to do?  I have PLENTY useful to do.  That is the point.




Hay Jude - a mournful ballad advising someone who's letting someone else get under their skin to take refuge in a barn.

All My Lowing - another farm-based tune in which cows pledge their undying commitment to other cows.

Nowhere Map - This song has a line that goes, 'Knows not where he's going to' and ends up with someone lost in a field because the Ordnance Survey people messed up and produced a blank.

Hay Tripper - the one-way ticket involved in this song is a ticket to the police cells after being found with illegal substances and as high as the Burj Khalifa during the harvesting.

With a little Kelp from my Friends - a happy little lyric all about someone whose social circle introduced them to natural homeopathic remedies.

Kelp! - the enthusiastic song promoting the homeopathic remedies sung by his social circle.

Happiness is a Farm Gun - this is a nostalgic ditty sung by those grieving the loss of the farmer's right to blast cheerfully away at anything that moved or nibbled at your cabbages.

Getting Butter all the Time - this song is a taunt, used to tease the newer dairy worker who doesn't quite know when to stop beating the cream.

Fixing a Mole - a nasty little tune about dealing with countryside pests, not a favourite song with the RSPCA.

The Beagles were excited about playing Glastonbury







31 comments:

  1. Oh how I laughed when I saw The Beagles. And now all I can think of is Festerday, when a lot of pus was draining from my nasty wound that makes me Fear There and Everywhere.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Oh, yuk. But brilliant! I will never hear 'Yesterday' again without thinking of that, and I have you to thank ...

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    2. You never fail to make me laugh.

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  2. He he.
    Eleanor Rugby - she got very muddy but was a cheery, strapping lass. All You Need Is Gove - the new teachers' anthem. The Food On The Hill - description of a nice picnic.

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    1. I prefer 'Food on the Hill' to the original.

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  3. This could be the start of a new songwriting career for you.

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    1. I'm glad someone's appreciated my incredible potential here.

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  4. Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed them, fishducky.

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  5. Norwegian Food (This Bird Has Flown) - A man goes to a KFC in Norway to find the store has closed down because all the chickens have escaped.

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  6. Your mind goes in the quirkiest directions.

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    1. I can't imagine WHAT you mean.

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  7. Me? Shell? What hell!- the desperate cry of someone faced with the kind of seafood whIch comes with feet, face, claws etc. intact.

    We all live in a yellow mud machine - the anthem of those who dwell in a slurry tank.

    Fran, I wish you wouldn't do this. I have WORK to do!

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    1. I am that woman who sings Me? Shell? What hell? I hate that whole get-to-know-the-shellfish approach. I have work to do to too. This is the whole idea, finding things to do which you can kid yourself are worthwhile and get you out of the proper work.

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  8. What about the Fag Four's post-Beagles careers? e.g. Paul's ode to a secret Scottish lover in "Moll of Kintyre". Also George's paean to fatty foods in "My Sweet Lard". Then there was Paul's promotion of disability awareness with "Mary Had a Little Limb".

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    1. Ha ha, very witty, Unknown, only I know who you are because you posted on Facebook too. I hope that was a nice little interlude for you in between your real work!

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  9. Oh dear, it's addictive. I suppose I can't get away with Pussy In The Sky With Diamonds? Well, Rubber Soup, then, for that picnic on the hill. Honey (That's What I Want) - ditto.

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    1. I had to think about 'Rubber Soup' and then it clicked. Ha ha!

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  10. Why haven't I found your blog before? This is hilarious.

    Hermione Granger to Harry Potter: I wanna hold your wand

    If you were ever absolutely desperate for tickets for a sell-out event at the last minute, and didn't konw where to go, I could give you the number of the Magical Mystery Tout.

    As I said to my husband last night, when he didn't lock away the portable barbecue, You're going to lose that gril.

    And when one of those beagles, looking all puppy-eyed, comes and appeals for food, heartlessly I'll turn my back and say to you "Let it beg"

    This is so much fun!

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    1. Having looked at your blog and your profile, and these comments of yours, I think we must be twins, separated at birth, and kept apart by the cruelty of fate.

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  11. I have just linked to this post from my blog.

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    Replies
    1. Although, having just said I think we're twins, that's a LITTLE bit weird.

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    2. I was just about to accept, but now you've qualified your proposal, I'm going to say no. Whoever wanted a proposal that was less than whole-hearted?

      I'm going to come back and have a good browse of your blog.

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  12. I went to yoga today, and it inspired me to come back here and leave "Zen-ny Lane".

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    1. If I'd been to yoga it would have been Penny Lame.

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  13. Searching the shelves in the toiletries department of a supermarket;
    " can't buy me Dove " !

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha. You really brought that one down to the mundane!

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  14. Post-haymaking remark by disconsolate farmer - I Should Have Mown Better
    Post-haymaking remark by contrite farmer - If I Seeded Someone
    Casual female tomato-picker - Poly-tunnel Pam

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    1. I think Poly-tunnel Pam needs her own show, to be frank.

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