Reasons why Fran is staying in today

Never mind 'What did I come upstairs for?'  This morning, I put styling mousse on my hair twice within three minutes, having forgotten the first application.  It's beginning to dry now, as stiff as rigor mortis with knobs on, and if I got my hairdryer out, I think I could style it any way I wanted and it would stay like that until September. 




Maybe like this .... with its obvious advantage ...


Fran had found another excellent hiding place for the chocolates her husband didn't know she'd bought



Or like this .... 



'Will people think I look silly with this dog collar on?' he thought.  'I hate to stand out.'




Or this one?..... 


Fran walked into her classroom and the kids said, 'Uh oh.  Bad mood day.  Spit your gum out, guys.'





 I've used hair mousse to 'big up' my short hair since I was a teenager, always having been self-conscious about the paucity of it.  That means I've used enough mousse in my life to style every prairie in North America and, with this morning's effort, perhaps a couple in Canada too.





You can start that stuff too early, though.  







PS  If any of you tried to vote for me in that travel writing competition, thank you so much.  There's a mighty fine humdinger of a furious discussion going on on its website because of the difficulty everyone's had in voting and the way it's been organised.  I took that post down just so that no one else suffered the pain and instead you got this intellectual treatise on hair mousse and memory loss.  I hope you feel compensated.  

Comments

  1. Anonymous2/8/14 01:28

    Haha! Brilliant! I so relate to this. I have very clean teeth, having frequently cleaned them more than once. The joys, eh? Great post :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill2/8/14 01:39

      And there's the really really strong tea I make sometimes, having put a teabag in the cup twice.

      Delete
  2. Steve2/8/14 02:10

    I bet you'd look great with an Elvis quiff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill2/8/14 03:54

      Now that's a good idea. Maybe I'll do that the first day of the Autumn term and distract them all from their iambic pentameters good and proper.

      Delete
    2. River3/8/14 00:02

      iambic pentameters?
      sounds scary.

      Delete
  3. stephen Hayes2/8/14 07:23

    Where's a picture of you all moussed up?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fran Hill2/8/14 10:07

    Ah, now you're just being demanding.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Janie Junebug2/8/14 12:06

    Favorite Young Man, once upon a time, had green hair that he spiked up in the air. He didn't do it with mousse. Elmer's glue gave the hair a boost. He wore a dog collar, had six earrings, and a nose ring. He was irritated when people stared as if he were rare. He looks quite nice now that he's 34.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill3/8/14 12:03

      Ha ha! I once went camping and there was a group of young lads who went into the mens' washing facilities in the morning and made their hair solid with the SOAP! All the men (with normal hair) were complaining that there was no soap left. Hilarious.

      Delete
  6. River3/8/14 00:01

    I think you would look stunning with that teal and purple spike 'do. it would certainly give your students something to talk about.
    LOVE the baby! Is that you?
    I rarely use mousse, once or twice in the last ten years maybe and then just scrunched it into the curls to hold them against a windy day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill3/8/14 12:04

      No, the baby's not me. Although I did have a few curls at one time. They didn't last. *sobs*

      Delete
  7. SmitoniusAndSonata3/8/14 07:29

    The Margaret Thatcher look ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fran Hill3/8/14 12:04

      I'd rather keep my friends, thanks.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Reasons why Fran is desperately in search of earbuds

Image
My try-to-get-fitter walk in the fields today was a silent one. I usually listen to the radio through earphones but have lost one of the soft earbuds and nothing spoils a walk more than having hard plastic nudging up against your fragile tympanic membrane. The BBC's  'Woman's Hour' is a brilliant programme but loyalty has limits.  It was disconcerting, walking in silence. Listening to radio distracts from the disturbing reality that my legs are propelling me in forward motion because, if I think too hard about this, I frighten myself.  Today, while walking, I had to listen to my own thoughts.  And now I've listened to my own thoughts, I remember why I like radio better. The inside of my head is like a wastepaper basket.   Be grateful that I only offer you a brief excerpt.  Oh, look, that bird is - / Where did I put that mark scheme. I'll need it for - / My shoes are getting muddier./ Maybe mash with the fish tonight / really muddy / The trees are defin...
Read more

More evidence that the wrong consonant makes all the difference to a famous book title

Image
More typo-lit, one of my favourite genres: To Kilt a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a young family move into the area from Aberdeen.  The children are found dressing the local wildlife in tartan and have to be taught that clothing innocent victims in bright material is not acceptable.  The little girl (Scot) says, 'Shoot, Pa, that's the darndest thing I ever did hear!' and there is surprise all round at her adoption of the local dialect in such a short time. To Kiln a Mockingbird - a tale set in the Southern States of America in which a wise father teaches his children that to put an innocent bird into a red-hot oven, converting it into an attractive china piece for the kitchen, was bound to upset Aunt Alexandra when given as a birthday present, and if this was indeed their intention, they deserved a whipping.   They don't get the whipping; the father can't stand Aunt Alexandra either. To Bill a Mockingbird - a tale set ...
Read more

Reasons why Fran can get a 90,000 word novel down to a haiku if she's paid enough

Image
My first published story was in ‘Your Cat’ magazine.  (Don’t laugh … we all have to start somewhere.)  I sent the editor a 1500-word story.  She said she liked it (great!) and would publish it (fantastic!) but that I should cut it by a third and tighten up my style.  Ah.  Not so good. I loved every word of that story.  I gave birth to each one in pain and suffering, so there was NO WAY, absolutely NO WAY I was going to cut or change them.  I was determined.  I would stick to my guns.  She could forget it.  My mind was made up. Then she said she’d pay me £200 if I did the alterations.  I wavered for a whole nano-second.  U-turn Queen, that’s me, when it comes to hard cash. The editing of that heart-warming story about a couple who rediscover their love when their cat has a crisis (it was a real sick-bucket saga) taught me loads.  I hated making the changes.  I felt like a murderer, slashing and s...
Read more