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Sunday, 31 August 2014

Reasons why moving your furniture around isn't always a good idea

My son has just moved, with his family, to Ham in South-West London.  I have sent them this poem in their 'Happy New Home' card.

Our future is in Ham.
We're feeling fine.
(I'm not, said Mr Pig,
'Cause so is mine.)

I'm always jealous when people move house, because I love new starts.  We lived in the same house for 25 years before we moved to the Midlands and, in lieu of moving house, I would change the furniture around on a regular basis instead.  Many of our conversations with our grown-up children begin, 'You know the year we had the piano at the bay window end ...' or 'That was when we used the back bedroom as a music room'.

There are disadvantages to doing this, though.  Here are some.

1. You get those deep holes in the carpets where the piano was and they never recover.

2. If you come downstairs in the night, you stub your toe on an unexpected chair leg.

3. There's always one piece of electrical equipment that is no longer near a plug socket.

4. One chair is now so near the fire, its occupant's ankles give off a smell of roast dinner in the winter.

5. If you take a tall piece of furniture away from a wall and replace it with a smaller piece, the picture above it now looks like a greetings card in a frame.

6. If you take a small piece of furniture away from a wall and replace it with a taller one, the picture above it, a scene of a family in a teashop, now features three disembodied heads eating cake.

7. You find that moving furniture around is no substitute for moving house, because your neighbour still has a penchant for Metallica and having your dining table in the bay window has made no difference to this.

8. You realise that one reason you moved things around last time was to hide the evidence of the Great Red Wine Disaster in 2012.

Fido always denied it, but had always had trouble perfecting his 'not guilty' look



I will try not to envy my son's new home.  I really like the house I live in now, and there's no reason to move.


Particularly, we have no reason to complain about our immediate neighbours.  They are extremely well-behaved. They look like this.







22 comments:

  1. I moved so many times that I tired of it, but sometimes I think, If I could afford to move, what city would I try on next? We lived in one house for twelve years. My daughter and I turned into five burly men when we wanted to move furniture for a new look. We had to stop after we got a dog who was going blind. As his sight diminished, he started running into the furniture if we moved it. Blind dog trumps new look. I manage to move the furniture around in my little house now, and I'm always thinking, I wonder if the big bookcase should trade places with the couch . . .

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I'm sure if you asked the bookcase it would say yes please, it would very much appreciate a change of perspective.

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    2. Thanks for the advice. I shall inquire.

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  2. We've been in our place for seven years now and I'm starting to get antsy for a move. Mrs. C. loves where we live so if I go I'll be doing so alone. And that ain't gonna happen. Take care.

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    1. Time to move the furniture around ...

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  3. Neighbours who never make a sound! That's my kind of home!
    Another reason to never move furniture is your cat gets used to where things are and gets a little p****d off when he races into a room, takes a flying leap onto where your chair used to be and ends up sliding across and off the other end of the table instead. Ditto polishing the coffee table. Instead of landing, he will slide with a very astonished look on his face.

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha. It would be worth moving things round just to see that!

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  4. Do hope your neighbours don't invite you round to their place anytime soon.

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    1. Thank you, sir, for your kind thoughts. Still, if they do, at least my husband can just lob my body over the garden wall rather than incur the expense of a hearse.

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  5. I remember those first blissful years when my husband was in the army and every few years I could leave behind the inevitable dirt that builds up in hidden places after a certain amount of time.

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    1. Now that is a real advantage of moving!

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    2. Heck, we moved every couple of years too, (hubby in the Army) and we were expected to leave a house in the same condition we'd expect a new home to be in. There was always a final inspection on the day we handed back the keys, with papers to sign and everything!

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  6. I'm never , ever going to move again and will be taken out of here , feet first .
    And , if ever a bit of furniture rearrangement appeals , I make a cup of tea and sit down .

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    1. I've never understood this saying - being taken out of a place 'feet first'. When I walk out of the house, that's the way I do it then, too, feet first, over the step. How else do people do it?

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  7. We moved two houses along about ten years ago - all our belongings in the garden waiting to go while we waited to receive the keys. Luckily there was no rain !

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    1. We did the same once, too, only it was the house directly opposite, not one on the same side. We had an army of friends and family carrying everything across, and my brother-in-law played our piano as it crossed the road and entertained all the neighbours (who were already looking out of their curtains ....)

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    2. we had sheds going across the back where there is a field and a line of ant like people carrying loads of stuff along the road. A friend's husband assembled all the beds which was wonderful when we were ready to flop !

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    3. Your friend's husband sounds like the man to have around when you move. Nothing worse than finding you've found places for the cutlery and have hung all the curtains, but the beds are still random bits of wood and the duvets and pillows are in a box ... somewhere ....

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  8. Hi Fran,

    Your neighbours look a bit spirited to me....

    Anna May x

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    1. I'm telling you, I'll be getting onto the Noise Abatement Society if they keep up their present racket.

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  9. We have similar looking neighbours, although they have stonier expressions than yours.

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