Evidence that Fran's attempt at an Irish accent doesn't always impress

I'm teaching the great Irish writer Samuel Beckett's 'Waiting for Godot' to sixth formers. A telling line in the play is when one character, Estragon, says, 'There's no lack of void.' After reading this line on Monday, we discussed how the characters in the play (and people in general) 'avoid the void' with useless, repetitive activities to distract themselves from how meaningless their lives seem. Estragon and Vladimir play silly games, swap hats, insult each other, sing nonsense songs and engage in faux-intellectual conversations, just to pass the time while they wait for Godot. (Spoiler alert: he doesn't arrive, folks.)

I guess if Beckett wrote it today, he'd have Vladimir and Estragon playing Angry Birds on their phones, joining in with #ruinasongtitlebytakingawayoneletter on Twitter, and checking Facebook to see if anyone had a ham sandwich for lunch.

I told the class I thought my title for the day's lesson 'Avoid the void' was crying out for someone to write a poem.  It is? their faces said.  No one leapt forward and yelled, 'Let me, let me!'

So I did it myself.

I read it to them today and they were singularly unimpressed. I did my best Irish accent, too, in honour of Beckett and that didn't impress them either ... *sulks*  They did applaud, but only once I'd bowed in an exaggerated fashion and said, 'Thank you, thank you' so they really had no choice.

In the light of their lack of enthusiasm, I thought I'd inflict bless you with it instead.

Avoiding the void

It’s toime for us two to decoide

how we can avoid the void

because I really can’t aboide

the way it makes me feel insoide.

There’s lots of different tings we’ve troid

attemptin’  to avoid the void.

In troot, O’im getting’ well annoyed.

Oi wish dat Godot had arroived.

It takes away a feller’s proide

to feel that he has been begoiled

I'd t'ought Godot was on our soide

He said he’d come.

I tink he loid.

When you're doing your A-levels, Mummy had told him, you might get to do Waiting for Godot with Fran.