Reasons why Fran should stop watching ballet
Someone sent me a link on Facebook to this video of a Russian ballet dancer.
Something not to watch before you gorge yourself on sausage and mash.
I watched it just before my evening meal, and I really wish I'd had a sardine salad planned, or perhaps a thin vegetable soup with a couple of herb croutons. The ballet dancer leaps around as though his body is made of cotton wool, staying in the air like a bubble, for much longer than seems possible, and landing as though the floor wasn't concrete, but a thick, soft Turkish carpet.
And all I could think while I was watching was, in a minute, I'm going to tuck into a plate of pork accompanied by a hillock of buttered mash, and after that, I shall barely be able to rise from my chair, let alone fly halfway across a room like Peter Pan in nude tights.
I do love dancing, though. I have a CD called 'R & B Divas' and when no one is looking - and I've turned the mirror to face the wall - I will career around the living room like a mountain out of control, flailing my limbs to the music and using a banana as a microphone.
One of the songs on the CD is 'Toxic' by Britney Spears. I've just looked up the official video on Youtube. It appears the song is not, as I imagined, about bathroom cleaning agents. I won't post the link to the video here, as I still want Google to let people click onto this blog without a warning, but let's just say, I thought the ballet dancer's tights were as nude as it was possible for them to be. Britney proves otherwise.
When I was a teenager, my poor beleaguered PE teacher, Miss Smith, tried to teach us 'Country Dancing' on Wednesday afternoons. I imagine she went home on those days and headed straight for her drinks cupboard for a gin and tonic in a pint glass. We were obsessed with the films 'Saturday Night Fever' and 'Grease' and she could shriek 'Remember to do-si-DO' as often as she liked, turning up the volume of the 'Gay Gordon' or the 'Irish Washerwoman' to drown out our giggles and yelps. But we were busy do-si-don't-ing, pretending we were Olivia Newton John and wishing a man in a white suit with cobalt blue eyes would come and rescue us from our fourth year schoolgirl tedium.
Do you like the film 'Billy Elliot'? I find the opening sequence transfixing, and the T-Rex song takes me straight back to my cheesecloth shirt and flared red trousers days when I experimented with bright blue eyeshadow and 'rocker' platform shoes, thinking myself elegant and sophisticated. I often use this clip at school to demonstrate the power of an opening sequence in a film.
Billy Elliot opening scene
If only Miss Smith had thought of playing T-Rex and letting us leap up and down on gym mats.
Something not to watch before you gorge yourself on sausage and mash.
I watched it just before my evening meal, and I really wish I'd had a sardine salad planned, or perhaps a thin vegetable soup with a couple of herb croutons. The ballet dancer leaps around as though his body is made of cotton wool, staying in the air like a bubble, for much longer than seems possible, and landing as though the floor wasn't concrete, but a thick, soft Turkish carpet.
And all I could think while I was watching was, in a minute, I'm going to tuck into a plate of pork accompanied by a hillock of buttered mash, and after that, I shall barely be able to rise from my chair, let alone fly halfway across a room like Peter Pan in nude tights.
I do love dancing, though. I have a CD called 'R & B Divas' and when no one is looking - and I've turned the mirror to face the wall - I will career around the living room like a mountain out of control, flailing my limbs to the music and using a banana as a microphone.
One of the songs on the CD is 'Toxic' by Britney Spears. I've just looked up the official video on Youtube. It appears the song is not, as I imagined, about bathroom cleaning agents. I won't post the link to the video here, as I still want Google to let people click onto this blog without a warning, but let's just say, I thought the ballet dancer's tights were as nude as it was possible for them to be. Britney proves otherwise.
When I was a teenager, my poor beleaguered PE teacher, Miss Smith, tried to teach us 'Country Dancing' on Wednesday afternoons. I imagine she went home on those days and headed straight for her drinks cupboard for a gin and tonic in a pint glass. We were obsessed with the films 'Saturday Night Fever' and 'Grease' and she could shriek 'Remember to do-si-DO' as often as she liked, turning up the volume of the 'Gay Gordon' or the 'Irish Washerwoman' to drown out our giggles and yelps. But we were busy do-si-don't-ing, pretending we were Olivia Newton John and wishing a man in a white suit with cobalt blue eyes would come and rescue us from our fourth year schoolgirl tedium.
Do you like the film 'Billy Elliot'? I find the opening sequence transfixing, and the T-Rex song takes me straight back to my cheesecloth shirt and flared red trousers days when I experimented with bright blue eyeshadow and 'rocker' platform shoes, thinking myself elegant and sophisticated. I often use this clip at school to demonstrate the power of an opening sequence in a film.
Billy Elliot opening scene
If only Miss Smith had thought of playing T-Rex and letting us leap up and down on gym mats.
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I must say, those tattoos are a bit disconcerting. (Not yours, of course. Yours are lovely).
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I didn't get tattoos when I was young and thin. I imagine they stretch with the flesh over the years so the words disappear and you just look like you've undergone a big thumping from someone.
DeleteThat was most unkind of you .
ReplyDeleteI'd managed to forget Country Dancing .
If you'd had country dancing with Miss Smith, you'd never have been able to forget it. Burned in the memory, like early trauma.
DeleteThe video is beautiful, but how did you get it? Willy Dunne Wooters and I made that when we were alone in my bedroom. I adore Billy Elliot. The conclusion always makes me cry.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
That's the internet for you. No such thing as privacy any more. Next time, check for hidden cameras.
DeleteI watched a few seconds of Toxic and had to turn it off because the b.c. stole my costume. Now I'm mad.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I think someone had stolen her costume too. She'd have been more covered up wrapped in cling film.
DeleteWatching Sergei is making me re-think the ox of chocolates I was planning to buy tomorrow. I like his practise studio too, what a fabulous space.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long time since I saw Billy Elliott.
Billy Elliot is always worth seeing again. And Julie Walters is fabulous, as always.
DeleteIs country dancing the same as "square dancing," which is what we were forced to do in school PE classes when rain kept us indoors?
ReplyDeleteI think it's just the same thing, Stephen, and I'm sure, like me, you'd rather have been out in the rain.
DeleteI love the bit in Billy Eliot where he furiously tap-dances whilst flicking his V's at his older brother. That's the one dance move I'd love to be able to drop into at a moments notice. It would make going to work so much more fun.
ReplyDeleteTry it out in the office and let us know how it goes.
DeleteBilly Elliot is my all-time favourite film, and that opening sequence is great. I LOVE the last minute, though - Billy leaping onto the stage, and the expression on his father's face.
ReplyDeleteThe film is one of the greats - I don't often watch films more than once, but that one I'll watch again quite happily.
DeleteHi Fran! I haven't watched Billy Elliot but I do love Britney's videos. I must admit, I do indulge sometimes and pretend to have the physique of a dancer (which I probably did when I was 6). I even went so far as appearing on the school stage (4 years ago) with a group of teachers. I was the lead in Cheryl Cole's "Fight For This Love". I sang and danced my heart out and had so much fun. I only got away with it because I was the School Director and no one dared to laugh or make derogatory comments :):)
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Me too, prancing around on a school stage to 'All the Single Ladies' by Beyonce. I've just had another look at the video and, to be fair, I don't know that anyone would have noticed that I wasn't Beyonce. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY
DeleteThere's an idea for a blog post. Which films do you watch over and over? Most people seem to have a list of them. I have only two. Billy Elliot and The Blind Side. (I was trying to reply to your reply, but silly glitchy Blogger wouldn't let me.)
ReplyDelete