'What's that strange lump on my leg? Surely that wasn't there before,' thought the woman.
She Googled it. 'Strange lump on leg,' she typed.
Website 1 said, You have a lump on your leg. It will go soon. Do not worry.
Website 2 said, You have probably bumped yourself without realising. It will go soon. Do not worry.
Website 3 said, This is probably a fatty lump or a benign cyst. It will go soon. Do not worry.
Website 4 said, You have a fast-growing incurable malignant fibrous histiocytoma. See a doctor immediately and check that you have no diaries lying around.
She felt the lump again. Surely, since she started Googling, it had grown thirteen times bigger?
|Googling the lump had given it an ego and a personality of its own|
Medics seem to hate it when you turn up at the surgery and say, 'Doctor, I've googled this, and apparently .....' I guess they know what's coming. 'Doctor, I've googled this, and I think you'd better tell me your opinion quickly, because I only have three minutes left before I go into a coma.' Or, 'Doctor, I've googled this, and in my humble opinion you need to prescribe me a year's worth of Cure-it-all-acillin even though it costs £14,000 per two week course.'
Last time I mentioned I'd been playing Google Diagnosis to my doctor, it was when I had a Baker's cyst developing behind my knee. I told him people on the Internet were saying that if a Baker's cyst burst, it was a pain three times worse than childbirth. 'Is that true?' I said.
The word 'contemptuous' isn't strong enough to describe his look. 'Hmph,' he said. 'Well, people on the Internet are stupid.'
What? EVERYone? What about Stephen Hawking? I checked Stephen Hawking's website and either he's a lot cleverer than I am, or he is SO stupid, as the doctor suggested, that he's talking claptrap and academia hasn't realised.
Having said this, Stephen Hawking has absolutely nothing to say about strange lumps on legs. I guess even the best brains have their limits.